Why?

Burglar casing the street, sees house he fancies robbing.

Damn! Its got an alarm - never mind he just leaves a note for the owners asking them to turn it off whenever they go out.

Problem solved!


Seriously, you could smash the 4x4s headlight then pump a couple of thousand volts into the remains of the bulb with some fancy equipment. It will fry the all of the electrics - including the alarm - thus solving your problem. I saw it on a film once so it must work.

Alternatively you could steal his car.

Alternatively, attach your note to a brick and place it gently through his windscreen - if he returns the next day - repeat. Eventually he will find somewhere else to park.

Alternatively you could buy a personal attack alarm, then wait for him to park his car, then follow him around for the rest of the day triggering said alarm.

Alternatively you could hide in the car park, allow him to park and walk away from his car. Once he is 50 yards away jump against his car and set the alarm off. Hide again. He will have to turn around, walk back to his car and turn off the alarm. Once he is 50 yards away again repeat. At least seven times.

Alternatively you could ask all of your friends to park in the car park - so that he can't find a space.

Alternatively you could challenge him again. If he becomes rude again, be rude back. Taking control of the situation escalate the disagreement until it becomes a fight-to-the-death. One way or the other, your problem will be solved.

Thanks for my help.
 
Hmmmm, not sure as to the value of the advice but I appreciate the sentiment. I was going to argue back but was just dumbfounded, mostly because i'm more than 6ft tall and weigh 15 stone, im not used to people openly picking fights with me.
 
Just spray the damn thing all over with an attractively contrasting metallic paint, ovverbruv, with words which express your feelings clearly, or perhaps in an interesting abstract design.

Does it open with a key? Just shove the nozzle of your UHU into it, squirt away, while smiling at pedestrians, who just think you're opening up your car.

Surely you know some local scrotes (you may need your bruv to source these from his school, though) who'd be delighted to knock seven bells out of a Licksarse (4x4 or any other specimen) just for the hell of it? Call them up, pay 'em a fiver each, and let them have some innocent, healthy fun.

Nice alternative, and environmentally friendly: shove right up his tailpipe any amount of fruit or veg to hand, preferably sacrifice some fish, if possible. Stuff them well in and seal with a hardy spud. Sit back, watch, enjoy the roar of the mighty enginnnnnnfffff.. ppff... ffftttt....
 
Another why - WHY don't chemists stay open late??? (they don't in Gib!!!) I've got the cough from hell and I'm close to coughing up a lung but do you think I could find an open chemist on my way back from work?? I walked past SEVEN chemists on the way home and not one was open, despite Next, M&S, all the booze shops, all the tourist rip-off merchants, electrical shops et al open - but no chemist! All I wanted was a bucket sized bottle of Benylin as my supply is rapidly disappearing.......:(
 
Ah yeah, there's a Safeways but I couldn't be arsed to go over there.....:lol: I reckon I'll muddle through on what I've got tonight - it just means I'll have to go out when I'm at work as nowhere is open at 8am when I go through again!
 
Originally posted by Merlin the Magician@Mar 16 2006, 11:34 AM
:o Col your statement can't be correct it was EURO that pointed it out by saying why has he not got one,(see below) I did not see mine myself and I still cant see others either, so WHY am I the only one to have this ??????????


Euronymous
Posted on Mar 15 2006, 11:40 PM
  Why have i got a "Warn 0%" below the date i joined up on my panel?
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I agree there should be rules to stop yourself from being prosecuted etc etc but one can have too many does and don’ts and this will only add to others not posting as well in the near future.... too much censorship is not a good thing at all!!!! Free speech with in the board’s parameters must be paramount...........Personal attacks!! Yes! I agree should be made taboo…..

I was not aware that there were any on going problems on here and I use it daily, but last week I was adding new stuff and a new tower, so I was not on here, as often last week! Did I miss something??????
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No Euro asked why he had one, not why he didn't.

The new t&c's are not really much different than what they were before (plus common sense) but the difference was they weren't written down before. As others have pointed out, even with the new T&C's in place we are still no where near as strict as many other forums!

Anyway to discuss this further can we take it to the thread meant for discussing the changes
 
I only wish Absolut Raspberri worked as well as Benylin, Colin!! :lol: I've had to resort to taking the Benylin Original (ie the drowsy stuff) now - still, at least I might get to sleep tonight for the first time in days!
 
I think I've probably torn muscles at the top of my bump from all the coughing I've been doing this week and there's nothing at all that I can take for it. Well apart from glycerine & honey syrup which is useless. I've taken to just swigging it from the bottle. Still no good :rolleyes: Will start swigging Benylin once she's here :lol:
 
I've been swigging from the neck of a Benylin bottle for the past two days!!!! :lol:

Seriously, every time I get a cold it goes straight to my chest. This time around the cold itself was very mild and only lasted a day or so, but left a pretty nasty cough - I kept expecting a lung to pop out onto my desk today at work...
 
I was hoping for a legal solution but I love the spud approach Jon. What i didnt mention was that he had left his dog in the car, could a little terrier move a car like that enough to set the alarm off?
 
Aha - but you can report him to the police or the RSPCA for leaving a dog unattended in a vehicle for long periods of time, even in cold weather. On many an occasion the car is broken into by the authorities to get to the dog.....:D

Yes, a dog will set off an alarm - hell, a bloody fly can set off a car alarm.
 
Ovverbruv: the 1930s gangster version of 'tailpiping' was to use a stick of dynamite, so he ought to be grateful if you only spud him! :D I came SO close to doing that to a neighbour of mine, who used to wake me up every morning around 3.30, coming in late and bashing and crashing around upstairs. I spoke to him very sweetly about it, he apologised, and went on doing exactly the same. It's amazing, the vengeful fantasies one thinks up in the wee small hours of the morning! :teeth:
 
Sorry to those regards my interpretation of the original WARNING SIGN I obviously was suffering fatigue at that time of the morning....... :o

I had wrote a response back to Julie with regards her threats to have me WARNED OFF because I use UPPER CASE but then thought better of it (but I still got it saved should I need it in the future)

How can someone be Banned for using UPPER CASE! I have got to be quite candid and thought what a farcical statement to have been posted by a moderator.

I'll be posting exactly the same as I have done on racing forums in excess of 12 yrs now it’s with in the board’s parameters and does not transgress any of the rules that I have read................ thanks

P.S. I had wrote an apology (regards the first sentence above) yesterday but in the melee of the festival etc I forgot to post it ……
 
Originally posted by Merlin the Magician@Mar 17 2006, 12:07 PM
Sorry to those regards my interpretation of the original WARNING SIGN I obviously was suffering fatigue at that time of the morning....... :o

I had wrote a response back to Julie with regards her threats to have me WARNED OFF because I use UPPER CASE but then thought better of it (but I still got it saved should I need it in the future)

How can someone be Banned for using UPPER CASE! I have got to be quite candid and thought what a farcical statement to have been posted by a moderator.

I'll be posting exactly the same as I have done on racing forums in excess of 12 yrs now it’s with in the board’s parameters and does not transgress any of the rules that I have read................ thanks

P.S. I had wrote an apology (regards the first sentence above) yesterday but in the melee of the festival etc I forgot to post it ……
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Merlin - you know as well as I do what the conventions are when using email/the internet/public forums etc. You know (because many of us have told you often enough) that when uppercase is employed, it is regarded by one and all as 'shouting' when used on a forum like this or in emails. That's just how it is, whether you agree or not.

Yet again, you simply read what you chose to read - I didn't say 'banned' I said warned off - ie, you may receive a warning which will raise the % on your warning bar if you keep ignoring what has been written and keep shouting about how it's always you who is singled out and how awful James is as a moderator. You completely misunderstood what Col had written and also what Euro had written, you were rude in your subsequent comments and are yet again criticising how the board is moderated...

Well, tough - at the last count you've received responses asking you to tone it down from four out of five moderators over the past few months - are you saying we're all 'farcical' in the way we moderate? All I'm saying is that if you continue to over-react and assume some sort of persecution complex on here, don't be surprised if any of the Moderators lose patience with you.
 
Originally posted by Griffin+Mar 16 2006, 04:39 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Griffin @ Mar 16 2006, 04:39 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Griffin@Mar 15 2006, 01:03 PM
On Saturday I had no choice but to park further up the road and the old bat that lived at the house I parked infront left a post-it note saying 'Do not park infront of my house' on my windscreen! Why haven't these people got better things to do?????
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She's done it again! Mr GG's dad is parked on the road, not outside her house but on the other side of the road and there is a post-it note stuck to his windscreen :angy: Mr GG says I should calm down and not get angry but if I see the miserble old wench outside I'll be giving her a piece of my mind :angry: [/b][/quote]
Griffin

How about sticking a post it note on her face !

Seriously , I suggest you or Mr GG remind her it is a public highway and that he has as much right to park there as anyone
 
Griffin - Superglue the stupid woman's notice to her garden fence/gate so that everyone can see what a turnip she is.

Seriously, Mr Grumpy should pay her a visit and say sternly to her that she is contravening the act giving you the right to use a public highway, that you have kept all her notes, and that you will be issuing a restraining order against her through your solicitor if she does not desist with harrassing you with them, or any others she cares to think up. Really - five minutes face-to-face, getting them out from behind their twitching net curtains, does work wonders! ;)
 
Be grateful it's just a post it! A few weeks ago a work colleague parked outside the house of another colleague and the woman next door left several such notes on his car. With heavy duty parcel tape!!
 
I hope he stuck them back all over her windows, and filled in her keyhole with Superglue? As a woman who clearly likes things well stuck, she'd appreciate that helpful gesture?
 
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