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Your Favourite Uncle Smart Arse's Unofficial Blog

Ian_Davies

Ian_Davies

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Joined
May 7, 2023
Messages
2,922
Location
Hampshire
For some time, as you can no doubt well imagine, "Your Favourite Uncle Smart Arse" has been besieged with increasingly-desperate requests from many of the TH Massive to start a Blog.

"You're amazing," "you put up so many winners - mostly at double-digit odds" - "you're hilarious," "you're so cool," "I wish I was you" - that sort of thing, and that's just from the haters.

The few who actually seem to like me are far worse.

I've resisted these entreaties, I've not been a member long enough, I don't want to get into lumber with the top bloke gaffer by starting anything unofficial, but last night a delegation of my haters got in touch to make me an offer I couldn't refuse.

They just love publicly detesting me, while getting rich off my winning bets on the quiet so, in return for protecting their collective anonymity, we've cut a deal, signed in (their) blood.

So here it is, my unofficial Blog starts here!

Nothing much to actually (I do love a split infinitive) report this lovely sunny Hampshire May late morning (early afternoon by the time I eventually push the submit button).

I'm busy doing nothing, crashed out on the sofa, with the French Window open.

Yesterday was lucrative - and not just thanks to the Lockinge - and I stayed up to watch the Preakness Stakes, which was amazing on so many levels.

I bet the winner despite the short odds and I'd given up hope when he was trapped turning for home.

My post race verdict - horse: amazing, NBC commentary: superb, jockey: worst big-race winning ride since Tom Queally on Frankel in the St James's Palace Stakes at Royal Ascot?

What else?

Ted Walsh can't have too many complaints over Wexford, but if they're going to have him in over that, they should be having people in every day of the week both sides of the Irish Sea.

Interesting Flat action domestically at Newmarket and Ripon today, plus Jumps at perennially-overwatered Stratford, cracking fare on the level at Naas too and pure quality over Jumps at Auteuil.

Can't wait.
 
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Changing of the guard at Auteuil - 7yo Diamond Carl storms home from 5yo Kolokico with Gran Diose and Grandeur Nature well beaten.
 
Sunday evening and I'm already looking forward to the week ahead.

Really good card at Haydock Park on Saturday, featuring the old Cecil Frail Handicap for 3yos over a mile, the Sandy Lane Stakes for 3yo over 6f and the 5f Temple Stakes (once at Sandown Park).

And at Beverley the Hilary Needler Stakes (which used to be on the Wednesday night the week between The Derby and Royal Ascot but has been moved nowadays) and a similar contest for 2yo colts occurs.

Trackalady won it the first year I attended in 1977 and Devon Ditty in 1978, who went on to win the Cherry Hinton, the Lowther, the Flying Childers and the Cheveley Park.

And the race has even produced a 1,000 Guineas winner in Attraction.

Plus at Goodwood there's the race that used to be the Predominate (Troy won it by seven lengths from Serge Lifar in 1979) and the contest that used to be the Lupe.

And it's the Irish 2,000 Guineas at The Curragh with the 1,000 on Sunday.

So lots to look forward to.
 
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I see Derek Thompson makes his last racecourse commentary in July.

I've heard he has been very unpleasant in terms of elbowing others out of the way to get work over the years, but it's a "dog eat dog world," I never had any direct dealings with him (so have no beef with him) so, to me. he's always been the avuncular, holiday crowd friendly, light entertainment and mildly amusing face of racing.

There was a whole ongoing thread about him on him on TRF which I always felt hit the right note in terms of seeing the funny side of him.
 
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Mondays are cracking because I get the five-day entries for Saturday and the six-day entries for Sunday.

I'm already looking ahead to an absorbing Bank Holiday weekend of racing.

Meanwhile, I see The Lion In Winter is favourite for The Derby again.

It was once said you wouldn't want to touch anything that ran in a Dante apart from the winner, but Auguste Rodin and City Of Troy demonstrated you can run a shocker but, if you're from that yard, you can still win at Epsom.

I've got 7/1 ante-post, but I want Delacroix (16/1) and Ruling Court (6/1) for more and I've saved on Pride Of Arras because, while I don't think the Dante form is great on paper, he's clearly progressive.
 
All I'd add is, whereas City Of Troy and Auguste Rodin were both Group 1 winners at two who clearly ran well below par in the Guineas, The Lion In Winter is an Acomb winner who was 4l sixth in the Dante.

The other two had the top-class form in the locker to return to, whereas The Lion In Winter has never even run in a Group 1, let alone won one.

Turning my attention to Saint-Cloud, Arc second Aventure duly (2/5) won today, but the fifth Waldora caught my eye.

She has a last-published OR of 56 from the BHA - I wonder what they'd give her if she was entered for a Handicap in Britain now?
 
"Alexa, show me how to **** £3.62 million of punter-generated Levy money up the nearest wall. I'd say the Going is Hard or Heavy in the next 40 seconds, actually. It's certainly not Good:
 
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I'm in a good mood this evening.

Pleasant day, weather better than forecast, and I WON.

I expect to win every day, tbh, but, racing being what it is, obviously it doesn't always happen.

It wasn't bombs, but everything I did went right today across three different methodologys I was deploying.

Bank Holiday Monday entries are in and it's the Zetland Gold Cup at Redcar I'm having a butchers last knockings this evening.

Qitaal has another handicap in him off 85, just 6lb higher than when he bolted in at Chester last September, but I doubt if he will get his ground (I think he wants it in the easy side).

There's a few others on my radar, but I will leave it until the 48-hour decs before having a proper look.
 
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I have decided to make a modest investment - a pound and three shillings - in testing Walsworth's theory.

If I end up covered in jam, I will be forwarding my next laundry bill to him.
 

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I've just had comfortably my least-catastrophic jam doughnut-eating experience in my entire 62 years on this planet - I hereby declare Walsworth a genius and Honourary Professor Of Doughnutology for life at Cambridge University.
 
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So, it's Wednesday evening and I'm chez moi watching Brighton and Kempton Park.

I could have gone to either, but I've been to Kempton a million times and the drive to Brighton is always more enjoyable than the drive back - plus it's a journey I've done on so many occasions too.

Looking forward to Saturday's decs tomorrow morning and am feeling somewhat full after eating five jam doughnuts.

I blame Professor Walsworth.
 
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It's been a funny old day.

And I definitely need to stop eating jam doughnuts now - five was plenty to verify a theory, ten was just excessive.

My ante-post bets for Saturday have been declared - which is nice - and I'm looking forward to a cracking Bank Holiday weekend of racing.
 
Well, I've won on the day, but it's been bloody hard work - enjoyable, though.

Field Of Gold duly confirmed that it was a decent 2,000 Guineas this year and I'm now expecting Ruling Court to go close at Epsom and Shadow Leader to win the Commonwealth Cup as he'd have two hopes of beating Field Of Gold in the St James's Palace Stakes - Bob Hope and no hope.
 
Walsworth obviously has the dietary habits of a Reform UK voter.

Moving swiftly on, one somehow managed to keep one's head above water yesterday, but it's been hard work on the betting front this Bank Holiday weekend thus far.

I could go to Windsor today, but I really can't be bothered.

Looking forward to watching the racing chez moi while consuming the last of the cheat fajitas - bliss.
 
walsworth said:
Give us a bash of the bangers and mash me muvva used to make.
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Without a time machine, that would be somewhat difficult to achieve.

And if I had a time machine my first priority would be a trip to tomorrow, a quick check of the racing results, then a return to today to place a monster acca with every bookie I could get on with.
 
It's been a very pleasant Bank Holiday Weekend.

Some of the highlights....

1 Winning

2 Not going racing, thus avoiding expense, Bank Holiday traffic and people

3 Good food and drink at home

4 Walsworth describing cuisine I bought the ingredients for at Tesco as "foreign muck"
 
It's been quite a day.

I had obtained a free ticket for Sandown Park, but had been in two minds about whether to actually go.

In the end I'm so glad I did - sublime evening in outstanding company.

Going into the middle to watch the 5f National Stakes on the line is an institution for me and that was just one highlight of a terrific visit to the Esher venue.
 


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