Don't do anything unpaid for anyone else ever because they won't do anything unpaid for you.
Whilst I've been enjoying reading some of the discussions on here recently between you Slim and others this has to be one of the saddest things I've ever read. I know you're a self confessed Narcissist and there'll be no need to reiterate that point as there are only 2 kinds of people who can get away with that sort of attitude and get away with it long term . Narcissists and Psychopaths.
I can see the attraction of the lifestyle Ian it's bloody easy isn't it. If you're a half competent male in this world and you've only ever got to look after yourself and to hell with everybody else and the rest of the world then life is just a piece of piss.
I'm probably the polar opposite of you in terms of the way I live my life. I grown up surrounded by people who struggle, helpless people who just struggle in life and some just purely broken people from the harsher lives they've been dealt. From my own Mom and Dad to seemingly most people who surround me. Tbf for a long time i was fairly broken and clueless myself and whilst I'm still patching over the cracks I'm a lot more clued up than I once was, I dragged myself out of it and built some form of better life.
I've found through doing it myself I've learned from mistakes and is was a really long and difficult process which could of been easier had I received a helping hand or a nugget of guidance here and there. In fairness I'd have probably refused or ignored any help or guidance as I was stubborn and pig headed and so used to doing things alone. However having learned those lessons it cost me nothing to pass them on and help some troubled young lads along the way. Now i'm financially fairly sound I don't mind helping others out whether that's digging them out of a bit of a hole, or just explaining better ways of doing things. Do i expect anything back absolutely not for one what have they got to give ? And secondly what is it that I want ? Nothing.
See I struggle more now mentally than I ever have done in life. I always said I found life easier when I was struggling. Why ? Because you have no options, no time to think you just have to do what you have to do, do the work, pay who you've got to pay and start again the next week. It's a simple life. When the struggle stops, and you get chance to look up, you get chance to think and more and more options start to appear that for me is when problems really start. You get to ask questions like what do I actually want ? I have no idea. What did you do all of this for ? Again I have no idea.
I don't watch many films these daysI watched Pulp fiction as a kid and like all young lads would run around quoting the Samuel L Jackson line but not much thought for the meaning of any of it and usually most focussed on the "Vengeance" element of it but it was only later in life when I re watched it I found I focus on "The shepherd the weak, through the valley of darkness". This world is ever rapidly becoming a dark and nasty place and the selfish grow in numbers as do the weak. I hear a lot of people bemoaning the state of the world without actually doing anything about it. There was a meme with Jordan Peterson going around a few years back about tidying your room. Whilst a lot of people mock it and him, the basic premise of it was that a lot of people are out there protesting about issues that are so complicated they are complicated beyond belief and they think they know how to fix them, meanwhile they are living at their parents and can't even sort out their own bedrooms never mind the world. The extension of this that once you can carry your own weight in the world then you can proceed with trying to help people and the better you get at solving problems the more complicated problems you can start to attend to and the more people you can help.
There was another film I loved as a kid it was pay it forward the simple idea a boy has that he'll do something good for someone and in return they do something good for 3 people. I was always amazed that in effect this simple idea if carried through would actually solve all the worlds problems and yet everybody else probably had that thought and went about their business. A couple of weeks ago I was having phone calls at home left right and centre from different people needing help from family needing help with jobs, to a lad I know who'd gone to jail to a lad at work who needed my help save his job after a gross misconduct incident which luckily I managed to do. My Mrs asked me why everyone always comes to me, because on this occasion they were people she didn't know and tbh I didn't know them that well either . I just replied because they can, and isn't it sad that they've got no-one else they trust more than a lad they barely know from work.
Anyway I've sort of rambled on. But when you say do nothing for anyone for free offered out as some sort advice, as I say if people are fortunate enough to be a Narcissist or a Psychopath then they might get away with that. Otherwise my advice would be if you are able, help as many people as you can as often as you can and ask for as little as possible in return as possible. If you are competent, strong or knowledgeable then help the weak through the valley of darkness. Why help people? quite simply because, you can. It's not an easy life in fact it can be heartbreaking, cruel and difficult and will certainly take it's toll but perhaps there is reward to be found in the world not being as completely fucked as it would be without you.
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