Without mentioning sexual fantasies, here are a few things I've had repeated urges to do but haven't yet got around to:
- When coming off a plane into the arrivals hall, behave as if all those people have been waiting for me. Stop, pose for photos and call out "Hello Bournemouth, Tyne/Tees, Brussels South, etc";
- Chase passing joggers in the style of a Tour de France spectator, shouting encouragement in their ears;
- Organise the clientele in restaurants with slow service to start bawling like hungry toddlers;
- Approach Sheikh Mo at the races, put an arm around him and tell him I share his pain.
- When coming off a plane into the arrivals hall, behave as if all those people have been waiting for me. Stop, pose for photos and call out "Hello Bournemouth, Tyne/Tees, Brussels South, etc";
- Chase passing joggers in the style of a Tour de France spectator, shouting encouragement in their ears;
- Organise the clientele in restaurants with slow service to start bawling like hungry toddlers;
- Approach Sheikh Mo at the races, put an arm around him and tell him I share his pain.
