A Poem

Nah don't worry, it's just a bit of good natured adult fun!

Funny how the place immediately brightens up as soon as Krizon returns! :D
 
Originally posted by krizon@Nov 30 2006, 08:57 PM
The moon was a ghostly galleon,
Tossed upon stormy seas,
When Old Krizon came a-ridin',
Up to the far Hebrides.

She knocked at his bothy at midnight,
She yelled, "Come out and fight like a man!
I'll sit on your face, you rapscallion,
'Til it's flat like your Ma's frying pan!"

He quaked in his socks in the moonlight,
He fell to his knees in deep awe,
Confronted with two tons of wummun,
He sprawled praying onto his floor.

"Forgive me, Krizon, I beseech you -
Show a mere man your mercy and grace -
Do whatever you will, woman, do it,
But don't sit - NO! - on my face!"

But she sat on his features so cruelly,
She heaved herself down on his nose,
He was briefly a wee bit unruly,
But soon quieted to merely a doze.

"That's him sorted," she said, as she left him
Asleep, as it were, but so weak,
"I may have smothered the wee chap in error,
But at least there's an end to his cheek."

(With apologies to Alfred Noyes for plagiarizing 'The Highwayman'.) :ph34r:
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

Tears come to the eyes
 
Originally posted by Desert Orchid@Nov 30 2006, 09:26 PM
I was sat there just minding my business
Watching telly and sipping a can
When I heard this almighty big stooshie
From a woman who looked like a man.

“Come out here, ye cheeky wee sh*tebag
I’ll teach ye to make fun o’ me!”
But no way was I venturing outside
I already was starting to wee.

“I’m sorry, Big Girl, I’m dead sorry!”
Said I through the hole in the door.
And I don’t mean the one for the postie,
It’s the one she put there with her paw.

“I’ll gie ye sorry, ya b@start!
I’ll gie ye reason tae greet!
I’ll jump on face fae a great height
But I’ll no land on ma feet!”

“I’ll flatten yer face wi’ ma huge airse
I’ll huv ye shitin’ ma dentures
I’ll see that ye never have children
I’ll see ye’ll have nae lusty ventures.”

I love it when wimmen talk nasty
I get high on the prospect of danger
But a fart in the gob from aul’ Krizon’s
What you might call an attitude-changer.

Would I survive a sit on the face
Fae Krizon? A jist cannae say
I’d rather it came from another
Like maybe let’s say Jinny-j?
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
From two miles to four I was quite a beast
As the form book from those days makes clear
But now I’m deceased
My talent has increased
And I can throw lines together like Shakespeare.
 
At hurdles you were tame,
At chasing you were better.
You knew the racing game
Down to the final letter.
It really must be said
You landed oft a nap
But now that you are dead
Your scansion's really crap.
 
While praise is usually quite nice
Dessie's poem has had a large slice
So I’ll let the new Rabbie burn,
And quickly return
To one better - with blindness and mice.
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :D :D :D :D :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Just returned from a couple of days up North - what a HOOT!!
 
I imagine anything's a hoot after a couple of days oop nawth... (I thought I'd steal the sort of line Brian likes to put up, before he could get to it)
 
Mods -PLEASE can we pin this sometime?? It has to be one of the funniest threads weve had for ages!!!

( not counting the ones that have disolved into arguments and sniping that gets more and more childish - tho they are fun too B) )
 
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