Arse Cup

Tommo demonstrated his unerring abilty to turn gold into dross yesterday with his crass intervention as Dominic Elsworth rode into the winner's enclosure at Cheltenham.
 
Only a small balls, but... Ian Bartlett kicking off the Cez with "over this three-and-a-half-mile trip... ". Blimey! No wonder they were wrecked!
 
Richard Pitman, repeatedly referring to DOYNOSAUR (by Doyen, no surprise!), winner of the last at Towcester, as 'he's a big strong horse, he dwarfs the others', etc., etc. Fine, except it's an EBF Junior FILLIES NH Flat Race. We didn't really need him today - Sean Boyce (who I think is A1) in the booth could've covered everything from there, and he got the horse's sex right, too.
 
Any European trainer that brings a horse over the a Breeders Cup meeting and starts moaning about ground/lack of watering.
 
Going to be hard going on ATR with Chapman and McCririck fronting the coverage.

Hardly Nick Luck and James Willoughby.
 
ATR's coverage has been pretty good so far I think.

McCririck actually dropping the act and talking some sense. Appears to have done his homework too.
 
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The American guy making it bearable for me.

Chapman just though:

"Ken's longshot in the turf sprint was tailed off" - It came 5th in a blanket finish Matt
 
The race caller who's managed 'Frankie Dettari' in every race he's been in. Maybe he's thinking Italian = Ferrari = Dettari. As you do.

Chaparse, with that inane yeehawing after GOLDIKOVA won.
 
The yeehawing is awful.

Ken realises these two are morons, making them to look like idiots in discussing prices and horses that have drifted in the betting.
 
Ken Rudolf - yeah, I get all the Third Form references to 'red nose' now. As if hearing them 748 times hadn't rammed the point home, Chaparse. Chaparse is also shouting, rather than talking, as if making a point is more valid with decibels than not. Were these really the best that Britain/ATR could offer as front men for the show? Jason Weaver knows scads more about American racing than Chaparse, yet he's been stuck out in the barns virtually talking to the lead-up ponies. (Two of whom are particularly eye-catching - the skewbald with the big round 'target' over his tail, and the grey with the 'Dalmatian' style backside, but they don't have a lot to say.)
 
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Chapman is like tha annoying bloke at a party who very loudly makes extremely unfunny jokes (or pulls faces or something) and thinks we are all going to laugh along with him...which we are not.

Its a pity because theres a reasonable journo trying to get out
 
Good point, I feel sorry for Jason Weaver, he knows his stuff and reckon he waters it down for this train crash of a TV channel calling connections "the lads" and "the boys" at every bloody opportunity.

Surely RUK can get this back next year?!
 
Chaparse can conduct a decent piece to camera if he wants to, it seems - remember his long interviews with good trainers and visits to yards, where he managed not to irritatingly facetious the whole time? It seems that once he hasn't got another person anchoring him seriously, he acts the goat, exactly as you say, Clivex. Unfortunately, we can't back make an excuse to go outside for some air, as we might when collared by a party bore.
 
Well, that was actually an alternative I thought of, too! There are times, I have to confess, when I arrange a trapdoor to drop Chappers from the booth into a shark-infested pool. Yeahhh, now let's here those 'yeehaaawwws', buddy! (And to think I accused you of sadism.) ;)
 
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