Forum member jailed - Chris Beek Racing - Kachina Racing

He got 5 years in 2019 then got another 5 months added by the judge as he had no intention of paying any money back....I think IIRC.
Funny was only talking about him the other day. On one of his good moments, he put an owner in touch with me and he bought two horses. This owner had been reeled in by his tipping service but to be fair he always spoke highly of him. Anyway said owner sadly passed away two weeks ago and his sister got in touch with me to let me know. She asked if I could let Chris know but I replied that I thought he was still inside. She again said that Chris had never ripped Nigel off. As I said before, there were times when he was an OK guy but he really was in Cloud Cuckoo Land most of the rest.
 
Notwithstanding the perpetrator's character, the gullibility of the victims in those links is pretty astounding.
 
The most surprising thing in the article is that Beek seemingly failed as a jockey due to injury, and not because he is self-evidently a gigantic fat ba*stard.
 
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jinnyj said:
He got 5 years in 2019 then got another 5 months added by the judge as he had no intention of paying any money back....I think IIRC.
Funny was only talking about him the other day. On one of his good moments, he put an owner in touch with me and he bought two horses. This owner had been reeled in by his tipping service but to be fair he always spoke highly of him. Anyway said owner sadly passed away two weeks ago and his sister got in touch with me to let me know. She asked if I could let Chris know but I replied that I thought he was still inside. She again said that Chris had never ripped Nigel off. As I said before, there were times when he was an OK guy but he really was in Cloud Cuckoo Land most of the rest.
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5 and a bit years with good behaviour actually means 2 and a half years in reality , so out now would be right.
How 'good behaviour' can be taken into account kills me- should serve the sentence given. Sentences received 'cos someone broke the law , how they then can be ''let off' up to half of it is a joke.
 
Grasshopper said:
I’m mainly a non-judgemental type, Col, but wouldn’t it be easier just to fu*ck this ‘member’ into the ether, rather than warn people about what a cocksucker he is?
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I did think that, but then he could just re-register and people wouldn't know who he was. Plus, by bumping it and people seeing what went on previously if someone using a different name contacts them with a similar proposal, then forewarned and all that :)
 
dvds2000 said:
I did think that, but then he could just re-register and people wouldn't know who he was. Plus, by bumping it and people seeing what went on previously if someone using a different name contacts them with a similar proposal, then forewarned and all that :)
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Yep, fair shout, Col.
 
Obviously when I logged on to talking horses, it was to read this thread.

I understand people's comments, remarks and all that. I accept what people write, some bits true, some not so true.

I've always loved horses, racing and I tried to make a career in a hard industry.

What I done was indefensible but a lot of what was written was not true.

In life you can make mistakes, I made a massive mistake and I held my hands up and took my punishment, a punishment harder than I was advised was likely to be the case.

But I never gained from what I done. I never spent people's money on lavish stuff and the problems which happened, were after my time in racing were over.

I was fortunate to have good friends and contacts who supported with me horses, but I was a fool and stupid. I so desperately felt that after all my own attempts to be successful in having horses and wanting too many, that whilst at rock bottom, I could actually make all the money back and get back on my feet.
I had willing investors and I had a lot of money come to me to invest. Every penny was invested in to betting related schemes and other investments, but I was not honest, when money was lost, I didn't tell people and I created massive problems for myself. Which happened between 2013 and 2015. There was times things went well but on the whole, it was a disaster.

I never tried to deny I messed up, but I didn't physically gain, quite the opposite. I don't want sympathy, I was an idiot, and made catastrophic mistakes and I let down and hurt many people, for which I am sorry for and paid for that.

I have paid back as much as I physically could, and continue to pay back those whom I owed money to, it's the only way to be. It will take me time to see everyone I let down right, and that includes settling off the Poca I have against me, but I will, as I made these problems myself, therefore I have to correct them.

I love horses and racing, and still enjoy watching it, having the odd bet, following horses and so on.

I always enjoyed posting on this forum, and earlier this year I did try and make contact with those running the site, to be open and honest as I always enjoyed trying to contribute on here.

I never tried to put anyone away on here, or any social media platform, I got it wrong on an occasion or two, but you can only be human.

I also tried to reach out to the one person I really let down on this forum, I wanted to put right the past, explain and apologise. I accept that they didn't want to speak to me and I don't know if they even read what was sent, but I am a firm believer of holding your hands up and apologising if you get something wrong, or you do something wrong. Any way they were left out of pocket, I would want to put right, as it was not fair on them. I know I cleared the fees I owed them, as I was paying them when I worked at Rimells in 2006, but they've not spoken to me in a long time, although I do appreciate all they done for me, the kindness they showed and how they had always been very professional. I am sorry for any problems I caused her, and hope one day they will speak to me again, and let me try and repair the past.

The years of 2008 to early 2013 were happy times in life, and I enjoyed writing about my own horses on here, the same as I loved chatting to people about horses and racing, and listening to people's opinions.

I was also let down by other people, as well as letting others down, but you live and learn in life.

I wanted to write this post a long time ago, but I never felt comfortable to do so, and I was lucky that one or two people from this forum who I always got on very well with, have remained friendly with me and we occasionally chat about racing and stuff and I do enjoy it.

I never approached anyone on this forum or any other forum into things that I done that went wrong, I also know that over the years I tried to allow people to come and watch horses run of mine without ever wanting anything in return.

Sometimes you do things that don't make sense, and then when things have gone wrong, rather than doing the sensible thing and stop, and confront a problem, you make it worse and before you know it you have made something impossible to repair. It doesn't mean you are a bad person and it doesn't mean things that have happened are intentional.

In life I would love nothing more than to put right my wrongs and be decent and honest with people and try and rebuild my life.

I appreciate 99% of people don't want to know, don't care and wouldn't even say hello if they saw me walking down the street and I get that. But people make mistakes, and it's how you deal with those mistakes that you should be judged by.

I paid a heavy price for my mistakes and I don't feel sorry for myself one bit. I let people down and its a slow road to put that right.

I paid a debt to society for what happened and your card is always tarnished for that. I can live with that, and everyone I talk to, I am always open and honest and happy to try and explain and everything. I guess in life, you don't want to be hated, you don't expect to be liked or everyone to like you, but it's not nice having people say hurtful things, more so when people don't know you or the truth.

I would love nothing more than to be writing about races, my thoughts and opinions and be involved in forum discussions and could easily have set up a new username and no one know who you are, but why? Why hide away from who you are, if you are not happy to be yourself and have people know who you are then why would you even lift your head above the precipice in the first place.

I know with the majority of people I would be about as welcome as Putin at a Ukrainian Dinner Party and I get that and understand people's reasonings on that.

I would like to post again and everything I ever did post in the past, was always with good intention and because I wanted to genuinely try and help people. The gallops and all that were my own work despite what some people tried to say or imply. I was in a lucky position a number of years ago with the people I was in contact with. Luckily I still have some of those contacts, albeit it not many.

Racing friends are few and far between these days, but fortunately some have stayed by my side and supportive and always looked at it, I made a mistake that personally didn't affect them, so they wouldn't use that against me, that is something that means a lot.

There is no point saying sorry unless you mean it, and I for one am sorry for anyone I let down.

I am not asking for your understanding, forgiveness or asking you to forget the past, I am not stupid enough to do that. But I believe everyone in life deserves a chance to put their life right and make right the mistakes they have made.

I wish everyone well, and good health.

I would love to be posting again, but that's down to mods and so on, and like I said , I far from expect a warm welcome.

PS. Those who did follow my former horses with interest, some of the old favourites in Prohibition, Evergreen Forest and Pipers Piping are enjoying happy retirements happy hacking and being ponies. Sadly the likes of Stargazy, Know No Fear, Ostentation, Resplendent Alpha, License To Till, Calico Cat, and some others are now in the great racetrack in the sky.

Take care

Chris
 
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I agree. I’ve no idea how other members will react but I hope you continue to rebuild your life and right as many wrongs as possible to give you and others the closure needed.

I made some bad mistakes in my youth and without second chances my life would have taken a very different path.
 
Flame said:
Obviously when I logged on to talking horses, it was to read this thread.

I understand people's comments, remarks and all that. I accept what people write, some bits true, some not so true.

I've always loved horses, racing and I tried to make a career in a hard industry.

What I done was indefensible but a lot of what was written was not true.

In life you can make mistakes, I made a massive mistake and I held my hands up and took my punishment, a punishment harder than I was advised was likely to be the case.

But I never gained from what I done. I never spent people's money on lavish stuff and the problems which happened, were after my time in racing were over.

I was fortunate to have good friends and contacts who supported with me horses, but I was a fool and stupid. I so desperately felt that after all my own attempts to be successful in having horses and wanting too many, that whilst at rock bottom, I could actually make all the money back and get back on my feet.
I had willing investors and I had a lot of money come to me to invest. Every penny was invested in to betting related schemes and other investments, but I was not honest, when money was lost, I didn't tell people and I created massive problems for myself. Which happened between 2013 and 2015. There was times things went well but on the whole, it was a disaster.

I never tried to deny I messed up, but I didn't physically gain, quite the opposite. I don't want sympathy, I was an idiot, and made catastrophic mistakes and I let down and hurt many people, for which I am sorry for and paid for that.

I have paid back as much as I physically could, and continue to pay back those whom I owed money to, it's the only way to be. It will take me time to see everyone I let down right, and that includes settling off the Poca I have against me, but I will, as I made these problems myself, therefore I have to correct them.

I love horses and racing, and still enjoy watching it, having the odd bet, following horses and so on.

I always enjoyed posting on this forum, and earlier this year I did try and make contact with those running the site, to be open and honest as I always enjoyed trying to contribute on here.

I never tried to put anyone away on here, or any social media platform, I got it wrong on an occasion or two, but you can only be human.

I also tried to reach out to the one person I really let down on this forum, I wanted to put right the past, explain and apologise. I accept that they didn't want to speak to me and I don't know if they even read what was sent, but I am a firm believer of holding your hands up and apologising if you get something wrong, or you do something wrong. Any way they were left out of pocket, I would want to put right, as it was not fair on them. I know I cleared the fees I owed them, as I was paying them when I worked at Rimells in 2006, but they've not spoken to me in a long time, although I do appreciate all they done for me, the kindness they showed and how they had always been very professional. I am sorry for any problems I caused her, and hope one day they will speak to me again, and let me try and repair the past.

The years of 2008 to early 2013 were happy times in life, and I enjoyed writing about my own horses on here, the same as I loved chatting to people about horses and racing, and listening to people's opinions.

I was also let down by other people, as well as letting others down, but you live and learn in life.

I wanted to write this post a long time ago, but I never felt comfortable to do so, and I was lucky that one or two people from this forum who I always got on very well with, have remained friendly with me and we occasionally chat about racing and stuff and I do enjoy it.

I never approached anyone on this forum or any other forum into things that I done that went wrong, I also know that over the years I tried to allow people to come and watch horses run of mine without ever wanting anything in return.

Sometimes you do things that don't make sense, and then when things have gone wrong, rather than doing the sensible thing and stop, and confront a problem, you make it worse and before you know it you have made something impossible to repair. It doesn't mean you are a bad person and it doesn't mean things that have happened are intentional.

In life I would love nothing more than to put right my wrongs and be decent and honest with people and try and rebuild my life.

I appreciate 99% of people don't want to know, don't care and wouldn't even say hello if they saw me walking down the street and I get that. But people make mistakes, and it's how you deal with those mistakes that you should be judged by.

I paid a heavy price for my mistakes and I don't feel sorry for myself one bit. I let people down and its a slow road to put that right.

I paid a debt to society for what happened and your card is always tarnished for that. I can live with that, and everyone I talk to, I am always open and honest and happy to try and explain and everything. I guess in life, you don't want to be hated, you don't expect to be liked or everyone to like you, but it's not nice having people say hurtful things, more so when people don't know you or the truth.

I would love nothing more than to be writing about races, my thoughts and opinions and be involved in forum discussions and could easily have set up a new username and no one know who you are, but why? Why hide away from who you are, if you are not happy to be yourself and have people know who you are then why would you even lift your head above the precipice in the first place.

I know with the majority of people I would be about as welcome as Putin at a Ukrainian Dinner Party and I get that and understand people's reasonings on that.

I would like to post again and everything I ever did post in the past, was always with good intention and because I wanted to genuinely try and help people. The gallops and all that were my own work despite what some people tried to say or imply. I was in a lucky position a number of years ago with the people I was in contact with. Luckily I still have some of those contacts, albeit it not many.

Racing friends are few and far between these days, but fortunately some have stayed by my side and supportive and always looked at it, I made a mistake that personally didn't affect them, so they wouldn't use that against me, that is something that means a lot.

There is no point saying sorry unless you mean it, and I for one am sorry for anyone I let down.

I am not asking for your understanding, forgiveness or asking you to forget the past, I am not stupid enough to do that. But I believe everyone in life deserves a chance to put their life right and make right the mistakes they have made.

I wish everyone well, and good health.

I would love to be posting again, but that's down to mods and so on, and like I said , I far from expect a warm welcome.

PS. Those who did follow my former horses with interest, some of the old favourites in Prohibition, Evergreen Forest and Pipers Piping are enjoying happy retirements happy hacking and being ponies. Sadly the likes of Stargazy, Know No Fear, Ostentation, Resplendent Alpha, License To Till, Calico Cat, and some others are now in the great racetrack in the sky.

Take care

Chris
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Wilson is right. The past is often overrated. Especially when you have done time for it.

Don't be such a fanny and get posting.
 
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You put up a post, I choose whether or not I want to read it - that's how it works on a forum isn't it?
 
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Hi! Chris.

Well done for biting the bullet and making that post.

As people have said in the posts above, post away - if people want to read them they will and if not.........
 
You were brave enough to put that in writing and if it is true ( you will understand that people will doubt some points) you have made a positive step in your rebuild

Seems like a good starting point to your recovery and if you can indeed right the wrongs and are trying to do so - good luck to you

Your story might look good in ink and may be possibly cathartic.

There are a few good well learned scribes on here
 
granger said:
You were brave enough to put that in writing and if it is true ( you will understand that people will doubt some points) you have made a positive step in your rebuild

Seems like a good starting point to your recovery and if you can indeed right the wrongs and are trying to do so - good luck to you

Your story might look good in ink and may be possibly cathartic.

There are a few good well learned scribes on here
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Thank you to all those who have made points.

I'll be honest, I considered writing a book, or getting help to write one, but I wouldn't even want to benefit from something like that, it seems wrong that you could benefit from something like that. I don't even have a clue what Cathartic means, if I'm honest. Also there have been people involved in my life who were important, some good and some bad, and I don't think it is right to name people in positive or negative light.

The one thing I would really like to do is be in a position to try and help people who face time in prison. I am not going to lie, I was scared to death when I got sentenced, I was dreading it, but the reality was, prison is not what people see on TV or make it out to be. It's not a cake walk by any means, nor is fun, but TV dramatizations paint an inaccurate picture.
The one thing jail does, is it gives you time to reflect, look at the whole picture and look at yourself.

I was never a social butterfly, in fact I was always self conscious and I've never really been very good with people. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for quite a while and I won't lie when I say my head fell off in prison for a period of time. The one thing you learn in jail, is the people in there have done bad things, but aren't always bad people.

It's so crazy, and also whilst there is an agenda in that many people think most inmates hate screws, I can safely say, I never came across a bad officer. In fact quite the opposite. Most of the prison officers actually care, they want to talk to you and they want to understand. There's no malice and if you treat them with respect they treat you with respect.

One or two of the officers at the open prison I was at followed horse racing, and they were keen to know about my horses, and my life in racing. You enjoy telling some stories, but then you realise how much it saddens you.

The defining moment in my life I feel was when I left Mick Channon's. I actually loved it there, I looked after nice horses, got to travel the world and ride some lovely horses and I had a good job. At the time I had badly let down Kirsty and I was so embarrassed and at the same time I had spoken to Mick about the assistants role at the yard that was becoming available due to Paul Deegan leaving. The thing was I worked so hard at Mick's, I loved the horses and got on with everyone there. I was well trusted, but I had ambition. I had actually just taken out an amateurs license and whilst Mick said he may struggle to help me in that sphere, there was people who were local who had pointers.

I decided to leave, because Mick felt he couldn't make me assistant, as I was too pally with everyone, and I would get no respect and he didn't really promote from within. In life you have to make decisions. I made a stupid one. The reason I left was more down to letting Kirsty down, and I was too embarrassed to show my face about it. I had four job interviews, 2 for assistant positions and 2 for normal positions, of which one had the option to ride amateur.

Two involved moving up north, and the other two were quite close. One was a position that one of the head lads at Channon's had arranged for me.

I was offered three of the jobs, but I made the wrong choice, I took the one most local, I had grown up in Long Hanborough in Oxfordshire and still had friends in the Witney/Oxford area and Mark and Anne Rimell had, had a great season and spoke how they wanted to go places and Mark promised to take me under his wing and show me.

Everything fell to pieces, the yard had a virus, Mark never really had time to train someone up, and the wages were a fraction of what I was on at Micks and I went from living in a nice flat, to a mobile home.

I was getting beyond miserable and once I had paid the last of what I owed to Kirsty I decided to shut the world out. I turned down the option to move to Middleham to be assistant for a medium sized yard, I was an idiot. I was killing myself for a better wage than what I was on at the age of 18!

Then I broke my shoulder in a fall and I used it as a decision to leave Rimell's at the end of the season. I was done with racing. My heart was broken and I moved to Somerset.

Luckily for me, I started helping out in 2007 in a pre training yard and had a few nice wins at Bath and Wincanton and I met a guy called Stephen. Stephen liked how I assessed horses and form and told me about a friend of his Laurie Mann who was apparently a tipster called the wizard of odds. He approached me to write form assessment for him and introduced me to 3 or 4 guys who done gallops in newmarket. I had a great year, but I found out 12 months later, all I had been giving to Stephen and Laurie was actually being sold to Betdaq and published under the name the Daqman. They were paying me £20 a day, whilst Betdaq were paying them for profits. I was screwed over and again I just felt let down.

It was at that point, Stargazy found me. I never went to Newmarket to buy a horse, I didn't even want a horse, but he was on his own and depressed. I felt sorry for him and as I had no friends, no life and was doing okay financially, I bought him because I thought it might make me happy.

The first things I done with horses, worked out well. I done well with average horses, but the biggest mistake I ever made was moving to Lambourn. People can say what they want, or say I let down Alastair or maybe I was responsible for his career collapsing, but I wasn't. Alastair was always paid, but without my horses and money that yard would have folded long before I went skint, and I was pretty much funding all the deals done for everyone else. It wasn't Alastair's fault, both he and Alison were the nicest people you could ever care to meet and they done a lot for me, and in many ways Alison treated me like the son she never had. I felt I had to be so loyal to them. But the people who were running the operation less so. They used the yard to basically have horses for nothing and offered everyone deals, that they needed my money every month to keep the wheels turning. When I ran out of money in July 2013, I owed them 10K. They kept 23 horses to sell. Again they handled this so poorly, and I actually bought Stargazy, Kingswinford, Photo Opportunity and Nesnaas back off them to take with me up north.

People don't know the truth and I want to tell it, and be open with anyone and answer any question they have. I know I let people down, and I know there's a lot people didn't understand. Crazily some of the people I let down the most, know I didn't mean to do what happened and they have actually stayed supportive and we talk daily and we work together in business and help each other out. Which is crazy, as I never expected that. People always confuse me. The people that don't know you and shouldn't hate you, seem to slag you off and say a lot of stuff, yet the people who you let down, actually seem to be supportive, there and understanding. I really don't get life at all.

Sorry for ranting on, and going off subject.

It's taken me a long time to open up about things, but I want to, as I know there are a lot of things people want to know, and if anyone asks a question I'll do my best to answer it.
 
Can you clarify how come if when you "ran out of money in July 2013, I owed them 10K", you were then able to buy four horses?

I'm getting by fairly comfortably off my work and state pensions and/because I am mortgage-free but I don't feel I can afford to upgrade my 2011 Mazda hatchback, let alone buy even a share in one horse.
 
Desert Orchid said:
Can you clarify how come if when you "ran out of money in July 2013, I owed them 10K", you were then able to buy four horses?

I'm getting by fairly comfortably off my work and state pensions and/because I am mortgage-free but I don't feel I can afford to upgrade my 2011 Mazda hatchback, let alone buy even a share in one horse.
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Sure when I moved up north, I had a job to go to, not well paid but okay paid. The four I bought weren't to run again, they were just old pets. I owed the yard £10,000 and they had 23 horses, of which a lot were worth decent money, sadly those officiating treated it like a fire sale, desperate to keep horses in the yard, so rather than sell a horse for its worth of 4 or 5K, they would sell it for 500 quid to £1000 to stay in the yard. One horse who had been bought only a few months prior for £12,000 they sold to stay in the yard for £2000. It was a complete farce of how the horses were sold, but I had signed them over to get their money back. However I gave them £500 to take Stargazy who was already retired with a NRA and Photo Opportunity was injured, so they didn't mind him going and they wouldn't have been able to sell him. I then managed to use wages from new job to pay £2000 for Kingswinford, and then 3 months later, Nesnaas had not been found a home and was sat out in the field, I gave them another thousand for him, and moved them all up to a farm near Sheffield, where they lived out in the summer together and came in, during the winter.
Kingswinford and Photo Opportunity ended up going to someone I know, who wanted to race them and they had them for next to nothing, and Nesnaas stayed with me, until with help of new friends we found him a good home for life, which was all I ever wanted for him, as I only bought him when I was in Lambourn as I was very attached to him at Mark Rimells and bought him to join me in Lambourn as I was disappointed to see an old horse like him being sold.
Stargazy came to live with me in Sheffield and then in Lancashire, until he passed away in 2018.

I know from all the sale of the horses, a fair bit more than £10,000 was achieved, but I just wanted out at then time it happened and signed all over to the yard, instead of paying the 10K, I thought was the best way to stop adding more fees and allow Alastair to try and keep the horses he wanted and sell the others he didn't.

But I would say from the 23 horses, there was at least about £50-60K worth of stock, and £3500 of that stock I bought myself to give them nice homes as they were old favourites of mine. Another one of them Potentiale, was given to my ex, lets just say she didn't do badly out of the whole situation back then.

I ran out of money to continue having a 15-17K a month training bill at one yard, 2K at another yard, and £1500 at another yard. In May 2013 my bills came to £21,000 roughly, in June it was slightly less. But I also had my own yard I had to surrender the lease on, and I continued to make sure one member of staff was paid whilst the horses on that yard were sold and moved on.

I didn't completely run out of money, but I could no longer afford £21,000 going out a month. People were not interested in buying shares, I had done my brains on 2/3 gambles which went horrifically wrong, including the biggest loss I ever had at Hamilton, and I had to call time.

I agreed with the yard to sign over the horses in the lieu of the debt, knowing they would have to get new owners and therefore, the horses costs would be there for a few weeks. I was also always on full fees at the yard. Despite having 12 in training all the time, I never had a reduced fee, and aside of that June bill, every bill was paid within the 14 day terms. At two other yards I had horses at, I was on 45 day terms.

I kept my horses for a lot longer than I should have and I was paying less in fees elsewhere, but always felt an allegiance to be loyal . When I handed the horses over in lieu of debt, rather than sell them myself or put them through the sales, I thought I was doing the yard a favour. As it so happened the 10K fees owed, plus another 7K in added fees before the horses were sold, was all they claimed they got for the 23 horses. So they claimed there was nothing extra or profit on the full dispersal. Around 7/8 stayed at the yard, 10 were sold out the yard, 2 given away and then the 4 I had. Of which I paid £3500 for. This means they got £13,500 to keep another 7/8 in the yard and 10 sold. which means average of less than £1000 a horse. When most of these were 70 rated handicappers, some had been winning and in form, and two of the purchases had been 8k and 12K in the 3 months prior out claimers and hadn't even run, I know they sold one to stay in the yard for buttons and the other to a Newmarket trainer for £800! the same trainer I claimed it off for 8K 3 months earlier!

The horses I kept were to be pets, not to race again. Two of them recovered from injury and were leased to a racing syndicate before being given to them to rehome when they were not very good, but the others was to make sure they had nice lives.

I wasn't totally skint when I left Lambourn, and probably in hindsight should have moved all the horses up to my yard in Lambourn and just paid the final bill and gone about selling the horses, but I was offered a job in Sheffield and I decided I had to leave Lambourn, as I felt embarrassed and depressed about everything collapsing and having to give up all I was trying to work for.

When I had 5/6 horses it was easily manageable and most were 60-70% covered with shares and in having little gambles they paid their way. But when I sold off a load in 2012 because a owner who promised me everything literally done me for £40,000, I had to sell all the stock he had, because I couldn't afford the hole that was left and I owed Newbury Racecourse £25,000 for a sponsorship weekend. I sold up most the horses, tack, rugs not needed and other stuff which covered some of what the owner owed me and paid Newbury.

It left me with 5 horses then who I liked, and one I kept half when it went to Gay Kellerway's, but I ended up buying her out 3 months later. After that things actually started to go good, Meglio Ancora landed a huge touch for me and I was backed on my feet, as well as Know No Fear winning. This funded buying a lot of horses and I mean 14 horses. This was the start of the end, as I simply didn't sell a single share, I couldn't get any one interested in anything. I was losing money left right and centre and needed a touch to get back on my feet. Kingswinford and Muftares offered rest bite, but I was spending so much each month, I needed 2 touches a month to land just to keep balancing the books and I simply couldn't even sell 10% of any horses. I went from having 6 70% syndicated, and things okay and covered, to 25 horses (12 in training, 13 at rest) where I was owning 70% of 6, 80% of 2, and 100% of the rest. This was my undoing. I should have never tried to get back to the position I was in, at the start of 2012, which was a great year for my horses with 17 winners, as I didn't have the owners and quite simply it was becoming a nightmare.

I then lost more than I had ever lost on a horse when Rulesandregulations got beat at Hamilton, and when Ssafa got beat at Yarmouth, it was time up, I had lost the remainder of the bulk of money I had, and I had like 2 months training fees to my name, around 10K of debt, and overheads unsustainable and a Tax bill I was not going to struggle to pay. I stupidly was talked into giving Dettori the ride on Ssafa that night when he was back from his ban and he gave her no ride.

I settled my debt with the BHA, although I still have another one now, which I am slowly paying off! and made the decision I had to give up.

Like I said, it was handled so badly but that was my own fault. I wasn't penniless when I moved up north but I am not going to deny the fact, that at the start of 2012, I had about 120K in the bank and things were going okay, but I bought horses for an owner who wanted 50% of 10 horses and he never paid me a dime, and then I decided to sponsor a weekend at Newbury for 25K for exposure for the racing club. At that point the owners in Calico Cat didn't want out and I was actually okay with things. 6 months later, I was selling pretty much all bar a few to get a bit of a buffer together and pay some bills.

Ironically towards August 2012 I had about 15K in the bank, when Meglio Ancora won, I put pretty much every penny I had on him and won close to 90K, with this I claimed 4 horses, went to tatts and ascot sales and spent the lot buying a load of horses. I thought well it's easy I can syndicate a load of them, I simply couldn't and had very few takers and ended up owning most myself.

At the time, I contacted a wealthy friend of mine who had a big business up north and he offered me a business loan, I took it and it had 1% interest a month on it. This is what covered me for the next few months. I am still paying that off now, 9 years later! Although most of it is now paid. I still talk to that person and we get on okay. He has also supported me with work and it was for him I went and worked with in Sheffield.

I also made some very stupid decisions in 2012 and 2013 when chasing money with silly investments which were massive mistakes, but when I moved to Sheffield in July 2013, I thought you know what I can make money from betting and investing and I can do well from it.

Disaster, I no longer had the overheads but I offered too much profit to people in order to get them to invest. It worked for about 4 months but I physically was making nothing myself. Then I got reckless and tried too hard and to make matters worse, when money was being lost, I lied on statements and paid some dividends and was creating a massive hole. I compounded lie after lie for about 10 months, then the stress was killing me and I confronted all investors and told them the truth, how I had lost the money, things weren't a success and I was sorry.
I agreed to pay everyone back as and when I could, and a number of people were paid back and a lot have been paid in full. Sadly 2 or 3 people invested sums I physically couldn't pay and went to the police. I was voluntarily interviewed in October 2015 and I confessed all. I told the police everything and didn't deny anything.
Then they said they would report to the CPS and I would be charged.
I took legal advice and when I was charged in the spring of 2016, the legal team told me the fraud wasn't the amount I had been charged for and that everything needed to be assessed as all wasn't fraud.
By this time my head was everywhere and I didn't know what to do. I took advice to plead not guilty in 2016. What then happened was 3 years of back and forth to court and trying to get the charge sheet changed, get ready for trial only for the CPS not to be ready, and then trial had to be halted as I was ill, and was in hospital for a short period, and in the end, I couldn't go on. I asked my barrister what I would get if I went guilty, as there was no point denying 5K was not fraud, when 10K was (because money was taken when money was being lost and statements were false, so they invested because they thought was going well) and I was advised, I would probably get 2-3 years at most, do 12 months to 18 months and get early release on tag. I decided this was my best option, as if I ran trial, it was a gamble that probably wouldn't have paid off.

So I pled guilty.

I was given 5 weeks to get my affairs in order. When I was sentenced I was expecting 2-3 years, not the 5 Years 10 Months handed to me.

I have read one post which says I got 5 months extra for refusing to pay back money, that's not true. A means assessment was done which showed at the time of sentencing I had 6K of asset, but the fraud was 188K. I had to pay the 6K or face 5 extra months and it was paid straight away. They took my pensions and cashed them in early (had left to mature when 65 it would have covered a lot more of the poca). So I have on file 182K poca, which means if I ever won the lottery, or inherited a lot of money, they are entitled to this money. I have no issues about this, and I am doing all I can in life to see this is settled and not walking away from it, hopefully the money that has and does get paid will go to the victims, so they have a chance to get their money back.

I've paid other bits as well, and even now whilst trying to get on in life, I am making payments as and when I can to some people I owe money to, and they are pleased, that I want to put it right and see that everything is paid back, as its the right thing to do, and once everyone is paid back, at least I can hold my head up and say I might have messed up and let a lot of people down, but I done the right thing.

It was never alluded in the case I had spent the money, or not invested it or not gambled it as instructed, but the fact was it was not about money being misappropriated or lost, it was about how I was not straight with the investors when money was lost, and I lied to them and made payments to them, wanting them to invest further, as I stupidly believed I could turn it all around and everything would turn out okay. It was never going to be okay, I just made matters far worse.

I know now, when the first bits of money were lost, I could have saved myself and just been open and honest and gave back what hadn't been lost and I would have been given time to pay back people. I wish so much I had done this, but I just kept getting myself in deeper and deeper because I was a fool, and stupidly believed I would turn it around. I ruined my own life, and let down a number of people who were close friends.

I have no one else to blame but myself for the problems I created and I paid for them, and I'm still paying for them. I may have done the 2 and bit years in jail, but I still financially owe the money, and still have to spend the rest of my life paying it back. I don't mind that, and it's only right and I will do that, even if it takes me 20 years. But I will carry this forever.

The crazy thing is, the same person who tried to help people, do what they could for anyone and try and be loyal and supportive, is the same person who gambled away hundreds of thousands of pounds of other peoples money, and lied constantly to them and absolutely ruined a load of lives at the same time. That is the one thing I struggle to get my head around.

I used to be so money driven, it's a sad way to be in life. I always wanted money, was never happy with what I had, when what I had was more than enough for most people. But I am glad the greedy side of me is gone. Now I would rather have nothing, and do very little, it's a much happier place to be in.
 
Flame said:
At that point the owners in Calico Cat didn't want out
Click to expand...

This is the horse I was trying to recall not so long ago. I put it up on here as a speculative punt on its debut - around 66/1 - at Chester (the Ormonde?) and it really outran its odds.

Did it win next time out?

Did it then run in the Ebor?

So long ago but the idea of a horse making its debut in the Ormonde just had me curious!

Still, I wish I felt I could afford to upgrade my Mazda :lol:

(To be fair, I got it in 2014 - traded in my 275K miles Jag - three years old with 10k miles on the clock and all I've had to do is brake discs, pads, tyres and an air-con re-gas and I love it but I want a Toyota Crown Majesta Hybrid.)
 
Desert Orchid said:
This is the horse I was trying to recall not so long ago. I put it up on here as a speculative punt on its debut - around 66/1 - at Chester (the Ormonde?) and it really outran its odds.

Did it win next time out?

Did it then run in the Ebor?

So long ago but the idea of a horse making its debut in the Ormonde just had me curious!

Still, I wish I felt I could afford to upgrade my Mazda :lol:

(To be fair, I got it in 2014 - traded in my 275K miles Jag - three years old with 10k miles on the clock and all I've had to do is brake discs, pads, tyres and an air-con re-gas and I love it but I want a Toyota Crown Majesta Hybrid.)
Click to expand...

Cars are crazy prices. I've got an Golf that is 14 years old, but amazingly still has a value of £1500. The second hand market is crazy, it's so expensive to upgrade or replace cars, that if the one you are driving has no problems, it makes more financial sense to keep it, as you pay through the nose at present.

In regards to Calico Cat. I'll be honest with everyone, he was a mistake, a lucky lucky mistake.

I know myself and Gill Richardson gained a lot of plaudits for finding him, but I am happy to tell you the truth about him.

I went to Tatts sales (July 2011) with the intention of buying one horse. The year previous I had bought a horse with a funny arab name, which I changed to Evergreen Forest and owned him myself, he was a project horse, bought to land a touch. But in 2011, I wanted to get a better stamp of horse. I had 8 friends who wanted to buy into a horse and were all happy to take between 5 and 10% but they would leave the finding of the horse to me.
My one aim in racing was I always wanted to win the Lincoln, I don't actually know why, I'm from a Somerset based family and I grew up in Oxfordshire, but the Lincoln was the race that always interested me. I have always felt that to win the Lincoln, you either need a group horse masquerading in a handicap or you need to be a bloody good trainer.
These days, the premier handicaps are like mini group 3 or listed races, so the normal owner/trainer has been priced out, but back in 2011, you could still get a decent handicapper for about 10-20K and whilst I was working at the bottom end of that budget, I felt I had found the right horse in Memory Cloth.

In anyone remembers on here, back a long time ago when I was working closely with gallop watchers in Newmarket, one horse captured my heart and made me quite a bit of money, he was called Ibn Khaldun, and he was the son of Gossamer. Now I would say heart strings were played on a lot, and for me I followed the family very closely because of Ibn Khaldun. That year when I watched the videos of Memory Cloth I was so impressed with him and he screamed soft ground miler to me. I seriously think had I been able to buy Memory Cloth that I could have won a Lincoln with him, he was the chance of a lifetime horse that fell through my hands.

I made a massive mistake though. I had friends with horses in stables up north and I really wanted them to have a horse with me, and I thought Memory Cloth ticked all the boxes. Without ever thinking, I told these lads why I wanted the horse so badly and how I could win certain races with him and basically done all I could to try and get them involved. What happened was, I completely left myself wide open and marked the card of friends who had horses elsewhere to a very nice horse and in turn they passed on everything I told them to their own trainer. The fact was, the 8 owners I wanted to get involved, all wanted to be involved in a Saturday handicapper, they wanted days out and this was very much the remit.
I had told them it would be Memory Cloth. Although he had placed in a group three, had figured 105, and was rated high 90s, he had been off the track with a setback and was being sold out of France. I was certain I could get him for 10K. The reason I wanted to get the boys in from up north, was I knew with their backing I could probably have gone to 15K or 16K and therefore be sure to get him.

I must have looked at him 10 times over the two days I was at the sales, Gill Richardson also really liked him and the notes Marie gave us from Darley suggested he was very much something we could get right. Now I know it's easy to say after the event was so long ago, but the horse was ruined by the people who bought him, yes they won races with him but they campaigned him awfully. I genuinely think had I bought him I would have won the 2012 Lincoln with him and perhaps my life wouldn't have ended up like it did. But that's not for now.

Memory Cloth had few few viewers, except myself, and a couple of northern trainers, one being the trainer who trained for my so called mates up north. The predictable happened and I thought I had him at £7000, then £9000 and the hammer just wouldn't drop. When Brian Ellison bid £10,000 I knew I had no more leg room, Gill asked me what I wanted to do, and I said see if they will take half, (meaning 10,500), she indicated to the auctioneer and he went 10,500. Again he seemed to be on this for an eternity, but again the hammer wouldn't drop. Then at the last moment, Ellison went 11K. I was done, I didn't have the money and I didn't have the clients, the fact was they were strict, they would take 60% of a horse between them for 6K, there was no leg room, especially that had I gone 12,000, the bill to buy him would have been close to £15,000 after costs. I had to walk away.
I knew what my friends or so called friends up north had done, my weeks of planning and build up ruined, because I trusted people, and told hem everything trying to get them to buy into a horse, I knew could change everything and help me get where I wanted to get to, but the reality is I just marked someone else's card. I guess I should have known and not been such a fool, but you don't always expect it.

I was demoralised, and knew I had been betrayed and watched as the horse I badly wanted walked out the ring. Gill looked at me as if to say there would be others and cheer up, but people don't get it. I never made rash purchases, I wasn't someone who went to the sales and looked at any old horse, I literally made my mind up a week or two in advance and only went for certain horses. Horses that were often worn out, broken down and needed fixing. I loved a challenge, and I always wanted a horse that had problems or needed a bit of love.

I flicked the catalogue page over as the next horse walked into the ring and there it was, it's breeding Tiger Hill x Gossamer. I can honestly say, I knew nothing about this horse, I hadn't viewed him, seen him in the catalogue, spoken to Marie, but all I saw was half brother to Ibn Khaldun, Memory Cloth, son of Gossamer and a 3yo gelding out of training. I turned to Gill and said I have to buy this horse. She was puzzled and was like, Chris you know nothing about him, he could be a cripple. My mind was made up. I am a believer of fate and things happen for a reason and for me, the reason was I couldn't get Memory Cloth, but here was his brother. It was the first horse I ever brought blind and was the first horse that was purely impulsive.

I faced some competition from foreigners for him, but the hammer came down at 3,200Gns. Gill was not amused, as obviously her name was behind this horse, and neither of us had so much as looked at him.

With him purchased, and the Darley lots finished, we found Marie and asked her about him. She looked at us in horror and said, well, his backs all wrong, he's never galloped because he's never got that far in his work and he done a suspensory as a late 2yo before he even got close to galloping and he is very fragile. He was gelded but was still never sound. He's actually been on the walker for the last 6 weeks and he is sound now, but its the only time he's ever been sound, but he will never make the racecourse and he is not a racing prospect. I saw the look on Gills face, and I knew I had made a huge error, but what was done was done, and effectively I had bought a cripple who two previous trainers couldn't even get close to the track for 3,200Gns. An impulsive buy and one that clearly was not a good thing to do.

Lets put it this way, had I been told about Calico Cat prior to the buy, there is no chance I would have bought him. Had I not had a love for Gossamer, Ibn Khaldun and had my heart set on Memory Cloth, this horse will have never even been looked at by me, and I know for sure, I would have never had the pleasure to have him.

Calico Cat was affectionally known as Bert in the yard. He came back to my stables in Lambourn and it wasn't until the following mid April he went to Alastair's. The horse was as you could say, very big, very babyish, pretty clumsy, and a handful. He was also, pretty lame. By the time he got back from Newmarket, he was sore. I don't ever know if he was on any medication, but I knew this was not something we could crack on with. I liked him though, he was a good looking horse and whilst a bit dopey, he was rather affectionate, and he liked a polo or 20 and was a good eater. I do like a horse that likes to eat, I often find they are happy horses.

The next day, all Calico Cat's shoes were removed and he was chucked out in the field. I decided if we were to have any chance with him, he would need to just be forget about for a while. He stayed turned out until around December time, and he was huge, fat as a pig and he had done really well.
The people who were pencilled in for Memory Cloth were contacted and offered to come in on him. I never sold him as the truth above, and didn't tell them of his previous problems, only he might be a fun horse to get a mark with and go for a touch. Obviously as a 3200gns purchase we were no longer talking 1250 for 10% then monthly fees of 150 but I made a deal with these guys to take 70% of him and I would keep the remaining 30%. Looking back, I wish I never. He was already bought and paid for and I was kind of attached to him, and he was very much my project, I wish I kept him myself and then I would have never been forced to sell him.

The problem with Bert was, he was a bit of an arsehole to ride, and when he done road work, he would look like a circus animal and would plunge at everything. When he got away cantering, he was sharp as anything and would whip round in canter, try and run off the gallops and you had to ride him full leg length or you were in trouble. Most of the girls who rode out for me, didn't want to ride him and the one lad who worked for me, well he was someone I liked but his attendance record wasn't great lets say and when he did come in, he was usually drunk or stoned.

One lass riding him, had a nasty fall off him and got concussed and quit the job over it and the only ones happy to ride him was Jenny Powell or Clare Robinson who were both 15yo girls at the time and came in and rode out for me before school. It was always my plan all being well to start training in 2013, but this changed when an owner quit on me with big debts and also I felt too loyal to Alastair, but I always wanted to have Jenny as my apprentice. She had ridden out for me from the age of 14, and was absolutely gifted in the saddle. She could ride anything and whilst she ended up having some winners, she never reached the heights she could have made. The same could have been said about Clare. Clare was very good on a horse, she was a natural. She rode a bit as an amateur but these two girls were wasted talents. I swear in my life, I've never seen a better rider of a horse than Clare Robinson, she had amazing hands, everything settled for her, she was brave as they come and she was so stylish. She had everything. I wanted both of these girls to be working for me when I started training and I am certain the staff I had were some of the best in racing. People made rubbish remarks, I used female staff and female jockeys because I fancied them and tosh like that.
Miles from it. I used female riders, because horses like them, they treat horses better, they have better hands and they love the job and are passionate. I used to buy horses out of sorts, broken, demoralised, often sick of racing, you needed to win their hearts to have half a chance of getting them back, and you can achieve that so much easier with female staff and riders. They bring out the best in horses. I stand by that.

People accused me of all sorts, it angered me and it was miles from the truth. Anyone who knew me would have know that despite a few months of being with one lass who rode as an apprentice, I had never been in a relationship or wanted to be in a relationship with anyone who rode for me. I'm not going to name who the jockey was, as it was generally casual and was before they were a jockey and not long after they came to the UK but we were together 6 months and I fell for them deeply and it didn't work out, and I got hurt not them. After that I briefly dated a trainers niece from Stratford, but all the time I was with her, I had feelings for a member of my staff. I ended my relationship to be with the member of staff and we were together from the autumn of 2012 to the summer of 2013 when I left Lambourn and they went north. I wanted to try and make it work, but lets just say they weren't there for me, it was the horses, money and everything that went with being with me. Foolishly I continued to support their career and everything at north until 2018 desperately wanting them back, as I loved her, I always loved her, but we never got back together despite staying friends and also buying her a couple of horses to ride as an amateur. I supported her every move, even when I was on my arse, but you do that for love sometimes.

Despite lies written out there, I never had feelings for any of the jockeys who rode for me, and Amy was the most loyal person I had in my life, she was great on the horses and I saw her as a little sister truth be told. I didn't have feelings for any rider who rode for me, I was just loyal to those who were loyal to me, and wanted to help them as much as I could.

Sorry to have detracted! But Jenny used to ride Calico Cat and then one day, he veered off the gallops and broke her ankle. Brendan, her Dad, was livid and that was it. I took her to hospital and we had an argument about things. He was livid I let her ride the horse and that I had caused this. He talked about sueing me for Jenny breaking her leg, but I continued to pay her wage each week until she was able to ride out again. Brendan wouldn't allow her to work for me again and I was gutted, but Jenny loved riding Calico Cat and she wasn't someone who wanted to ride all the busses.

It was now late January 2012 and I decided that the only person to ride him, should be me.
I can safely say at this stage, the horse had not even done an upsides canter and I had no idea how much ability he had, but at the time I was probably about 12st 7lb and this was a backward 4yo. Most of my staff were 9st at the most, so the chances were it was not going to see Calico Cat fly up the gallops lets say!

Over the next 2 months, I took him out on his own, often in my own time at lunch or before first lot whilst staff were mucking out, and often kept him in the woods or the bridleways and fields near my yard. He didn't really like the gallops, and I wanted to get him fit and a bit braver before we needed to head up them. I always liked the way he carried himself, he was an effortless mover and never once was he unsound. The more work he done, the better he became, but I started to get really attached to him, he was very much my project and he had such a long stride, you had no idea how quick he was going.
I started taking him up Long Hedge and doing 2/3 canters with him a day and he got stronger and stronger. By the first week in April, I bit the bullet and thought, right we best gallop you. He had rarely been upsides and I knew he would be clueless. As he liked being on his own, I decided he should lead. I took him up Kingsdown and Amy and Grace were with me, Amy was on Nibani and Grace was on Know No Fear. I said to them give me a few lengths and just come and sit with me and help him out but don't leave me.

That morning was the first time, I realised that Calico Cat was not some ordinary horse. Nibani and Know No were good work horses, they had speed and they often went well. Nibani had come off the back of some decent wins on the all weather and was fit, and Know No was in good form. Calico Cat stretched them, and he was travelling much the better of the trio, I was stunned. Amy would have been getting around 4 stone off me, Grace 3 stone, but Calico Cat was near impossible to pull up! He had their measure, and it was on this day, I knew he was good.

I told them to tell no one and later that day, I met Alastair and told him, I think I've got a special horse. We agreed he would go up to Alastair's yard and I would ride him out each day, but he would gallop the next Tuesday and we would see what he is like with a jockey on. Katia Scallan agreed to come in and sit on him and I told her nothing about him. This time he worked with Nibani and one other, and they led him, Katia never moved an inch on him and she was tanking all over them. He had done two pieces of work in a week, was sound and was absolutely bouncing.

We entered him for a week Monday at Windsor in a 3yo and upwards maiden. The one thing we also done with Calico Cat was he went to Harry Dunlop's twice a week to go swimming. He was a fragile horse lets say and whilst sound, I felt swimming would really help him. The horse loved it as well.

Katia came in and put him through the stalls and I gave her my word, that for her help, she would ride him first time out. That Monday at Windsor, he was 100/1, but I backed him and so had the owners and by 4pm he was trading around 10/1. I knew he would win, and the plan was win, then the Ormonde in two weeks. Around an hour before racing though, the clerk of the course was concerned about water on the track and having walked it, they abandoned racing.

Now, we had hatched this plan for the horse, he was ready and in my eyes, his card was marked. He had been smashed off the boards for his maiden and he would have on, I'm sure of it.

But the Ormonde was in two weeks and there wasn't really any race in between for him. I just made an entry for the Hardwicke for him and the Ascot Gold Cup, and there seemed little point in changing the plan.

I decided it was best to stick with the Ormonde, although knowing it would be stupid to go for that sort of race on debut. Me and Alastair had choice words as well. He was not happy about running in a group 2 first time out, and was worried the horse would be tailed off and look stupid. He then tried to book someone else on the horse. I was livid. I had seen on the BHA page that Martin Dwyer was jocked up for him, Alastair hadn't even asked me and Martin hadn't even been near the horse. I removed him straight away and booked Katia. I rang Alastair unhappy and made it clear Katia rides him. He didn't like the idea of a 7lb claimer riding him and he was sure this was going to be a disaster, but I knew what we had.

Bert ran very well at Chester, and maybe it was the wrong race to run in, but I never like to deviate from a plan, and I had also promised Katia she would ride him first time out, and I was never going to break my word to her on that front. For me, your word is the most important thing, and if you break it, it means nothing and therefore you're nothing. I wouldn't let Katia down, I had made a promise to her.

Following Chester, he won next time at Thirsk, and then we went for a listed race at York. I never wanted to go for this race, but in order to qualify for any of the handicaps at Royal Ascot, or the Northumberland Plate, he had to have had 3 runs by the time of entry and he had to run that weekend or couldn't be entered. So our hands were forced.

That day whilst great when he came 2nd to Cavalryman in a listed race, was the worse days racing I had, had. Captain Dimitrios who was one of the best claims I ever made was sadly fatally injured and he was a horse I felt we could win a Wokingham with.

2012 should have been so different than what it was.

After York the phone never stopped ringing. Donald McCain, David Pipe, Anthony Bromley, David Loder and I could go on. Everyone was throwing around offers for Calico Cat, from 50,000 to 200,000. But the fact was he was not for sale in my eyes. I hadn't even told the guys who owned shares in him that there were offers on the table, but for me it was pointless. This was a horse who had, had surgery at 2, had done a suspensory and always moved with a bit of a shuffle, he was never going to pass any vet in the world, so these offers were immaterial.
Sadly one Saturday a week before Ascot when some of these owners came to see him, the person who I shall not name who I hate with a passion and worked for Alastair or shall I say Alastair worked for ... told these owners in his best way to cause problems about the bids and was surprised I hadn't sold him.

At this point the whole demographic changed. The owners in him who had paid less than £600 for a 10% share were suddenly seeing dollar signs, they wouldn't listen, they said after Ascot we have to cash in and sell him. I will be honest, I didn't want to sell him. I had waited so long for a good horse, probably the best horse I would ever have, although the first horse I ever bought I think could have been very special, and sadly she died on the gallops. Calico Cat in my eyes was not for sale, but I had no way of buying the other owners out, who now thought their 70% was worth at least 70K.
It was at this point a wealthy client who wont be named told me he wanted to join the ownership and we agreed on 10K for his share of 10% in Calico Cat. He was involved for less than a month when he sold for 40,000 at Tatts and we feel out, as he felt he had been ripped off and let down over his share. I can't talk too much about it, but before Ascot, as a racing proposition he was worth 100K.

I never wanted to go to Ascot, it was not my plan. If we were going to run, it should have been in the Queen Alexandra or the Gold Cup, but the rain was not due until the end of the week, and we didn't declare for the Gold Cup. He was unable to run in the handicaps as the handicapper had given him 107 and they were a 0-105 and a 0-100 and the owners didn't want him to run in the 2m 5f race.
I tried to talk them into waiting a week and running in the Northumberland Plate, but the owners had bought their suits and invited their friends and so to Ascot we went.

He didn't run badly and with Katia injured from breaking her leg on Captain Dimitrios and Mikael Barzalona (who rode him at York) unavailable, Paul Hanagan was booked. I liked Paul and he had ridden winners for me, but Calico Cat was not an easy ride, you had to keep him interested and Katia was part of the jigsaw with him. He kept him too far back, he wasn't quick enough and he hated the ground, and despite minimal progress late on, he was soundly beaten but not disgraced.

Paul got off him and said he needs 2m and he hated the fast ground.

He came back a little sore from Ascot, but was not lame, but the owners told me he was to be sold or I could buy them out for 70K. I didn't have 10K at this point with the owner of many horses of mine not paying a a number of horses needed to be sold and in to Tatts for a bill not paid by an owner for £12K and 25K owed to Newbury. I reluctantly gave in and agreed Calico Cat would be sold. We entered him as a wild card at Tatts and he was purchased for 40K.

I tried to tell the owners he wouldn't make big money, because of his legs and that, but they would not listen, anyway they still got 3500 a piece for their 600 involvement, great days out and prize money and were happy, although only one of the 1 decided to put their money back into another horse. The others didn't or went to other yards.

I was left with a Tatts bill settled and no longer having the horse of a lifetime. I was at that point ready to pack up and had to write off the 40K an owner owed me, and accept that it was back to square one. The likes of Nibani and co were sold to pay the Newbury bill and the remainder were dispersed to leave me with 5 horses including Meglio Ancora who was out in the field, Know No Fear who was never for sale, Vanadium who was lame, Stargazy who was retired and Royal Alcor who I only owned half of at that time.

Tings got better for a while, but whilst over the next year there would be a lot of winners and some nice touches, I struggled to get outside interest and struggled to make it pay, I was spending money like you wouldn't believe and took out a business loan which left me with 12 months to get where I wanted to be, or have to pack in, and it ended up being the latter.

I was actually very good with horses, I bought well, got the best from the horses I got, and I doubt anyone could have improved the horses I had.

My biggest mistake was in the summer of 2012 I could have kept my yard in Lambourn and done what I needed to with those horses, and I was offered a position of assistant trainer to John Hills and said I could bring 2 horses with me and he would do me a deal on fees. He said he enjoyed chatting to me, and we got on great. I got my riders when I was an agent riding for him and we always got on great. I declined the offer, because I wanted to stay loyal to Alastair and believed I could still get back on my feet to start training myself in 2013/14.

I made so many mistakes, I was gifted with horses, had an eye for form and horses, but I was awful with business, I was awful with people and I was pretty deluded in thinking that being good at something was good enough to get you where you wanted to be. I lived in a fantasy world believing that with no help and support I could get to the top, and I could do it all myself and I could just keep buying and buying eventually it would all come into place and I would get to where I wanted to, and it would all be okay. I was a fool, a fool with good intention but still a fool. I know that and I know many people were happy when I crashed and fell, I bet some even were happy a few years later when my schemes failed and I was jailed, that's just the way of the world.

I'm not a bad person and if I could turn back time I would. I would have stuck with 4/5 horses and mainly syndicated and happy to be someone's assistant as long as I was able to help in the planning of the races for the horses and allowed to try and scout and find the horses.

That's the part I enjoyed, the researching the horses to buy, and getting them cheap and getting them back. It was a thrill in knowing you got it right and you were a good judge. I never wanted the accolade, yes I wanted the money and I was very much money orientated, greedy to an extent with no understanding with the hurt it could cause others and a lack of respect shown to people. All awful traits which led to my demise. I never meant what happened to happen, I never gained from it, and in 2011 and early 2012, I was very much on an upward curve and had I not been foolishly ambitious and aimed for the stars but with no rocket to guide me, then I wouldn't have created the problems I had.

I was lucky that early on, I had very good backers and loyal support, but I always wanted more, it was never enough and when you're like that, you lose the good people as they feel they don't know you.

Look right now, I'm slowly paying off the BHA so I am no longer disqualified and I think by Feb/March I will have paid them in full. I also know I have to pay off my Poca and it will take me a few years.

I do have fire in the basement as Rocky once said, I do believe I was a very good judge and I do believe I was naturally gifted with horses that most people gave up on. I don't doubt I am an absolute idiot, with a mudded reputation and very few people will trust me, but I do have some support in some areas and I hope that whilst it may not be soon, it wont be the end.

I guess sometimes, you feel you have a point to prove. I know I will never be welcomed back as an owner and probably wouldn't pass the fit and proper person test and I am not deluded enough to think otherwise, but who knows, I know I could be a good assistant, or agent or racing manager, and I still think I have something to offer. I still talk to owners and trainers who value my opinion on horses and form, and I guess part of me wants to prove people wrong. I've a lot I've got to put right first and a lot of people are owed the truth and to be sorted out and apologised to.

I do think there is a lot that could be gained from a lot of people, in many walks of life, by me telling the truth and putting it out there. Part of me would love to be able to speak to the people who do those Star Sports betting blogs and tell my whole story, be open and honest and show that you know what, sometimes racing and gambling is actually a dangerous game and it can lead to so much hurt and problems, and people need to be careful in chasing dreams.

So much in the industry is painted all hunky dory and it makes the game so attractive to people, but to the wrong people it can ruin their life, and not just their lives.

I want to tell the story but I don't want to benefit from it, I want to help others in showing them the truth and its a path many people could fall down. Chasing your dreams is one thing, but blindly following them whilst taking no protection for the devastation that could be ahead is so not worth it.

I can live with the past, I have to, but it's not how I want to be remembered and I am not a stupid person, and I am not unintelligent and I am not someone who ripped people off for self gain and deliberately screwed people over, that is the part that kills me, and really really hurts.

I loved racing, horses, animals and I really gave my all to make it work. But I done other things which were a catalyst of failures which destroyed all the good I done, but it wasn't done because I thought I want to take advantage of someone, it was done because I stupidly believed I could make it work, I stupidly believed that everything even when it was crumbling would work out, and I arrogantly gave people guarantees on their money, as to me I didn't believe I could lose it, or get it wrong. All the good about me, was undone by what some people could say was the Walter Mitty side of me, or the clown who simply didn't look from the outside in. I never meant to lose people's money, and I never meant to hurt anyone. I didn't gain, I lost everything I had, and what other people had, I lied to them during the process and the payments made to them whilst things were collapsing were to buy time as I stupidly believed I would turn it around. There is so many times over that 2 year period I could have stopped and addressed the problem and put it right and I wouldn't be in the position that came about, but when you are sinking you don't think straight, you don't act normal. I may have a criminal record, but even probation, prison staff and people in prisoners all said the same to me, I'm not actually a criminal, most criminals set out to do stuff to benefit themselves, I set out to try and help others and myself and panicked and made things worse, there was no criminal intent, there was no masterminding skill, there was no deliberate act to better myself at the expense of others, I was just a complete idiot, who was ruining my life, other peoples lives and creating a web of destruction in my path, and mainly because when things were bad I chose not to be honest.

That's the one thing I had to learn, and learn fast, the truth is, the truth is the only policy, its the only way to be. There is nothing wrong in making mistakes and causing problems as long as you are truthful. If you tell people the truth, its not to say it wont be bad, or have a negative effect, but people can handle it, and you can work the rest out. But the lies, its the lies that kill people and that was my problem and for too long, it was easier to lie than tell the truth.

The person writing this today, is not the person I was in 2013-2015 when my world was collapsing. In some ways, even prior to prison in 2019, over the two years prior I had changed, I had started to rebuild, but I took prison as a positive, a way to actually get a grip of myself, a clean slate and now I just want to do the best I can, and try and help prevent people from falling time the path I fell down, actually the path I chose. All my decisions were decisions, I wasn't pushed, and that's why I have to take full responsibility for it.

I have no issues about being open and talking about everything as you never know who it may help.

I hope one day, I will have back all the friends I have lost, the same Chris Beek who paid his staff the best in Lambourn and made sure every one was in a good position in life and wanted to take people out, and help them if they were in trouble, is the person I want to be in life. My life is absolutely miserable, I'm not going to lie. Most days I cry, I do my work, which I love doing, but I'm not happy. I don't have any real friends. I have a few online friends who I talk about animals with and about zoos and that and some about racing, but there is no one who I could say, do you fancy going for a walk, or to the pub although I dont drink) or how about going to a gig or the movies. I have none of that. I am as lonely as anything. I actually enjoy writing on places like forums and that, as I can be me, try to be happy and try to make friends. I hate having no friends, as the truth is, I was always a good friend to people, I always done anything for anyone. In fact I was probably a soft touch, easy to use and the sad fact, I always knew it, but I didn't care, as I preferred having fake friends than no friends.

I never wanted to be liked or popular, I just didn't want to be unhappy and miserable. I've contemplated killing myself so many times, and have tried on occasion as well. I mean I would never be missed, because outside of family, I doubt anyone cares about me. That's no way to live life, but it's where I am and it's the truth, as upsetting and sad as it may be.

I try to live by the saying, "you don't throw away a whole life, because it's banged up a little", but it's hard when you have very little to live for. The people I once knew, the people I enjoyed chatting to at the races and all that, they all done well for themselves, they wouldn't even say hello to me, I know that, the same people have written stuff online, made jokes, but these are the same people that 10-15 years ago, happily chatted to you, took your advice and wanted to be there when things were good, so what changes, I get people lose trust and all that, but why do people think the minute someone has problems and falls apart that the person that would have always been there for them is the person you can cast aside and through in the gutter and make remarks about and slag off to kingdom come.

I will never understand that, but the sad thing is, even the people who have been the most horrid to me, can walk into my life and I would still want them as a friend and again do anything I could for a friend, as I hate being so alone and miserable.
 
That was both an enjoyable and saddening read.

You have much to offer so please move on. Remorse and apologies are admirable and as far as I’m concerned you’re as welcome on here as anybody - just please don’t try to sell me a syndicate share ;). The only person that will ultimately let the past define you is you.

but I’m more interested in thoughts as to why Lisnagar Fortune is as big as 25s for the Albert Bartlett.
 
I'm very sad to hear that you have been feeling suicidal - I struggled for years with this until I managed to get put on the right meds.

My sister killed herself back in 2013 - so I know just how pointless it is. I made her watch It's a wonderful life the Christmas before she died and she had seemed to take the message at the time but it obviously didn't stick for a long term.

There is stuff to live for even if it doesn't seem so at times.
 
wilsonl said:
That was both an enjoyable and saddening read.

You have much to offer so please move on. Remorse and apologies are admirable and as far as I’m concerned you’re as welcome on here as anybody - just please don’t try to sell me a syndicate share ;). The only person that will ultimately let the past define you is you.

but I’m more interested in thoughts as to why Lisnagar Fortune is as big as 25s for the Albert Bartlett.
Click to expand...

Asking completely the wrong person. I have zero interest in Jumps Racing. I could quite not even watch the festival week. I get many people love the jumps, but give me a 0-50 handicap around Wolves to pick the bones out of any day.

Thank you for your kind words.
 
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