Sorry, Luke! I shoulda knowed dat, being how I was watchin da whole odda series an' lovin' it, yanowaddimean? The message is okay, for those who really do have it 'easy'... but do they? Even the most madly rich person in the world loses a parent at some time, might be betrayed in love, might suffer a terribly humiliating fall from dignity or grace. Then no end of misery might overtake them, as they realise that all the gilded palaces in the world won't bring them the warmth of comfort that they then crave.
Marble - ah, the rewards of altruism, right? Vastly overrated! I got the same conditioning off Mommie Dearest, too, and it turned my personality into The Human Doormat for years! I was so unassertive (and 'assertion' shouldn't be allied to 'bumptious' or 'cocky') that I said 'yes, of course' to all sorts of crap that I really didn't want to do, but felt that I should do. Loaned money to pals which I suspected I wouldn't see returned (correct), put up for too long with a leech of a boyfriend/intended future husband (idiotically not realising that at heart he was a conman and thinking that, when he went to jail for 3 years, commuted to 18 months, I couldn't let him down in his time of need - oh, yeah, right); got onto boring committees because I thought I was "needed" (they did perfectly well using someone else later); spent far too long listening to professional moaners with never a good word to say (again, deluding myself that somehow I was helping them - which I was. I was helping them to stay negative by never contradicting their whines and whinges!)....
... I can only offer this: you do something not because you think you should, but because you really, genuinely enjoy it. Anything else is a con, a fraud of the emotions and a lack of trueness to yourself. So what if some people say it makes you selfish? Rather be a bit selfish than lie to yourself, and also at the same time lie to others - I pretended for years that it was a "good thing" to put everyone before myself, so that time and again I got steamrollered into doing things I didn't want to do. It took me into my 30s to learn to say "no", mean it, and find out that people really didn't fall down in a faint if I said it!
Actually, I might have to get a doglet after I've moved. I adore them and miss the cheerful companionship they can bring. Plus, it's big fun meeting other dog people and chatting about mutual pooches. I might try for a rescue Staffy or bullie - anything without slobbery whiskers, because I do love kissing their noses!
Going back to coping with death, it's a bit sad when there don't seem to be friends or family around to support the bereaved at the time. We are supposed to grieve (if we loved the person - if we hated them, we might whip out the bunting), feel sad, cry, get mopey, and so on. But there are some deaths which might put some people beyond the reach of their nearest and dearest - the death of a child, of whatever age, can affect his or her parents very differently, and their ways of coping might be very divisive, rather than bringing them together. The differences might eventually drive them apart - one thinks the other doesn't show enough emotion, the other thinks their partner is over-hysterical and can't stand the raw show of it. It could be then that a neutral influence would be beneficial and allow them to express their feelings, without hurling any criticisms or judgments at either. I do think that's one of the values of counselling - it doesn't come with any emotional baggage, and offers an oasis of calm when emotions have become overheated.
I worked for a few years for Victim Support, and the majority of crime victims didn't want counselling. But it was in a very community-minded area around Stoke-on-Trent, where neighbours had lived next door to each other for decades, gone to school with each other, and worked together. So, for most of the time, they could offer each other good counsel, even in some very distressing cases. What is more of a problem is where someone is living out of the reach of that kind of support - overseas, alone due to their job, or without much in the way of a family. In those sort of cases, there was often a request to have a counsellor visit them, sometimes for a long time, to help them get past not just the need to talk but to deal with the unexpected bureaucracy involved, which can be terribly energy-sapping.
I would always recommend it to anyone concerned that what they wanted to talk about would be repeated by gossipy pals or verbally incontinent family members. Examples are boys thinking they're gay, incest victims, girls thinking they may be lesbian, singletons resentfully looking after dotty parents, the newly-divorced who aren't coming to terms with their situation, kids worried their parents are going to split... there's really an endless list of reasons why people of all ages might want to discuss their personal problems free of any family bias or bigotry. Counselling does serve a very useful purpose in these cases.