The Random Rant Thread 2010

  • Thread starter Thread starter Gearoid
  • Start date Start date
Good one, Katharine!

A colleague of mine came running into my office one day last year, absolutely horrified that the doctor dictating the clinic notes that she was typing had actually walked along a corridor, opened a door and gone to the loo whilst still dictating, then continued dictating whilst walking back to clinic.

Her face was an absolute picture when I asked if she heard whether he had washed his hands afterwards!

"UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGH, I've just had to handle that machine. Bloody hell! I will have to go and wipe the tape and dictaphone down now. Oh why did you say that? UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGH!" :lol:

Makes one wonder, though.
 
A Grand National winning jockey was taken to task in the gents one day by a stranger for not washing his hands after taking a leak. "I don't know about you," he said, "but I don't tend to piss all over my hands when I go to the toilet".
 
Don't chaps have to hold Mr Winkle in order to aim for the pan, though, Shadz? Let's face it, we don't know where Mr Winkle had been during the past 24 hours...

Hamm, you're agreeing with not washing your paws post-pee?
 
Oh I know that Kri, I was just relating the story!

"Dung-hand" is the way forward - that antibacterial gel in little bottles that dries in seconds. Much better than going back outside in the depths of winter with wet hands from the crappy wall mounted driers that don't work.
 
Our local 99p was suddenly full of antibacterial handwash gels - there are some in really handy little containers slightly smaller than a cigar tube - quite good to stick in a jacket pocket when you're doing the rounds. I love the name 'Dung-hand'! It ought to be promoted by Dunguib.
 
Drivers who totally ignore amber traffic lights, giving no chance for us pedestrians to cross busy junctions. I'm going to arm myself with plastic bags full of chicken shit to hurl at them.
 
Morons with air-rifles.

Out in the garden on Sunday morning, bright and early. Lots of collared doves in the trees all around. Suddenly "CRACK" and one flutters to ground in field behind house, wounded but not dead.

Little tw*t shooting from bedroom window purely in idleness. Excusable if for pot and on hand to put injured bird out of misery. A man walking his dog in the field behind me got there before I did and did the needful, bless him. He called through the hedge to me to ask if I had seen who had done it, but cowardly little s*** had hidden behind the curtains.

If I catch him I swear Shadow will look tame in comparison.
 
Pubs are shut, I dont do class A drugs, Ive only 2 cans of cider and a bottle of wine left, I havent left the flat all day and Adam Scott has not made a birdie in five holes....
 
Last cold beer has just been sunk. The only thing I have planned is to choose between Rum and Tescos...
 
betsmate said:
Last cold beer has just been sunk. The only thing I have planned is to choose between Rum and Tescos...
Click to expand...

I could not hack Tescos today but rum leaves you little options. Im thinking of drinking the last cans of cider from a shot glass to help things a long the way.
 
Is that not standard? Although Im the well to do type so I only pour the pint glass half full and stick the pinky out...
 
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