The Talking Horses Best Seller!

[Muttley]

OK, just a bit of fun. We all have one sentence each at a time, to build the plot and finish the book.........

Chapter One....


Jim Lewis, the amicable owner of triple Gold Cup Hero Best Mate, was enjoying a quiet pint of Murphys at his local ' The Hen and the Ferret', when suddenly the door flew open and there stood.............................

 

[BrianH]

...a naked Mary Reveley, carrying a copy of the Yorkshire Post in one hand and a large feather duster in the other. She smiled at Jim and asked "Have you time for...."

 

[jinnyj]

Graham Bradley, wearing only a large blue and maroon stetson

 

[Desperate Dan]

....and holding an Aston Villa rosette to cover his...

 

[Kathy]

...embarrassment. Jim was very popular in this particular pub because.....

 

[Merlin the Magician]

.....Aside from the Grand National, he accomplished almost everything a jockey could during his 20-year career in the saddle and in the bed!

 

[Maurice]

Meantime, in the smokey snug of a country pub, Tom Taafe and Barry Geraghty were...

 

[PDJ]

discussing which excuse to use when "Arkle2" was beaten in his next 3 races

 

[Diminuendo]

When suddenly Barry Geraghty jumped to his feet and shouted out loud, ' I am ..........

 

[Happy Jack]

'going to take a pull on Moscow Flyer next time I ride him as someone's just offered me.....'

 

[PDJ]

the ride on Venn Ottery in next year's Champion Chase and I need to be free

 

[tetley]

I've heard a rumour Barry's after the ride on Venn Ottery in next years champion chase, said Jim as he finished his pint..

 

[Muttley]

.. grabbed Mary's feather duster and ...

 

[BrianH]

...started singing "Happiness" as the karaoke machine ground into action. Entering into the spirit of things, Paul Carberry set light to Mrs Reveley's newspaper, while Derek Thompson continued colouring in his Dick & Dom Christmas annual.. "Ho ho," he cried "the Queen Mother once told me in absolute confidence that..."

 

[krizon]

Stewards! Brian, you completed a sentence with a full stop. If you persist in disobeying the rules, you'll be blackballed.

"... she and the Duke of Richmond had enjoyed a particularly warm relationship over regular bottles of Bombay Sapphire, and I think I'd have learned a lot more if that twit Brough Scott hadn't barged in just then with her third bottle."

 

[Honest Tom]

Suddenly, a subset of The E. Dead Group burst in the door and sprayed the entire pub with machine gun fire, killing every one.

THE END.

 

[simmo]

Inspector Simmo surveyed the carnage through a cloud of smoke created by a student with a hot pan and some glycerine, "There's been a murder" he declared.

 

[Bar the Bull]

His first thought was to contact the police...but then he remembered a certain James Toller; surely the man who steered Lindop to his greatest success on the racecourse could get behind who this E. Dead Group were and what their motivation is.

 

[jairducochetfan]

Suddenly, a car pulled up outside, with the hit Busted song, "Air Hostess" blaring out. Timmy Murphy climbed out, asking where...

 

[Muttley]

.. his pint was, who shot Jim Lewis and why hadn't he got the ride on that nailed-on, Gold Cup certainty ....

 

[Bar the Bull]

Sergeant Cecil. He knew he would be able to do the weight as a flat jockey as he had lost a lot of weight since he had vigorously...

 

[rorydelargy]

...denied allegations that he was living a double life. By day Murphy, hard as nails jock, but by night...

 

[Bar the Bull]

...lead dancer in a Pan's People tribute band. Inspector Simmo and Timmy Murphy shook hands. "Where's Toller?" Simmo asked. To which Timmy replied...

 

[simmo]

he usually hangs about in the field over the back with the cows and his rubber gloves about this time, perhaps you'd like to

 

[Bar the Bull]

...forget about him for the moment and discuss this mass murder. Who the hell are this E. Dead Group? I first heard of them...