Weddings

Bar the Bull

Bar the Bull

At the Start
Joined
May 2, 2003
Messages
9,534
Location
Llandubno, West Wales (very west)
The wedding in Ireland is a curious cultural phenomonon.

My wife and I counted last night, and we have been to 27 weddings in the past six years.

They are extremely expensive to attend.

- A stag or a hen in most cases, which usually includes 2 night's board and a rake of pints.
- A babysitter, as children aren't allowed.
- A day off work (very few seem to be on a Saturday).
- A night or two in a hotel, very few seem to be in Dublin.
- A wedding gift, usually 200 quid in Johnny cash.
- Drycleaned suit and often a new frock for Mrs. Bull.
- Hair do for the wife

For the non-Irish people on the forum, the format tends to be thus:

Church at two
Bride gets there 20 mins late, 1 hour mass
Hang around the church for the team photo
Back to the hotel for a "reception" at 4 o'clock. This usually involves a few glasses of champagne.
You're not called for dinner until six, so this is where the damage is done. You end of drinking a load of pints on an empty stomach (the wife miscalculated getting ready, so the "bowl of soup" before the church never materialised).
Dinner at six. Banquet. 12 people around a large table. The table you're put sitting on often determines the night, as you have to stay with that crowd for dinner, and you are often lagged in rounds with the lads on the table for the night. Food is often really nice. Face well and truly stuffed. Load of wine, pints.
Speeches usually start at half eight or nine. I have been at two weddings this year where they have gone on for over 1hr30mins. It is not uncommon for the following to speak (groom, bride, father of groom, father of bride, priest, best man, head bridesmaid). This is the worst part of the evening.
Half the tables are cleared at ten o'clock, for a band to start playing. This goes on until midnight.
A DJ takes over from 12 to 2.30 or so.
Then everyone goes to the "residents' bar" for more pints. Depending on various variables throughout the day, my hour of retirement is in the range 3am to 6am.
The next day is a nightmare, waiting until you think you are below the limit to drive home. There is often a "do" the next night, hosted by the bride and groom. This is a less formal affair, usually barbecue and a rake of cans.

I have enjoyed 4 of the 27 weddings I have attended.
 
4/27 were a result? Thank God your punting's a bit better than that ratio, Bar, or you'd be hauling out the Big Ishooo, never mind tottering off to the champagne marquee!
 
granger said:
I was at a wedding recently where the bride spoke for 20 minutes. I have never been more embarrassed in my life
Click to expand...

Hes making a major mistake in letting her speak at all, they are married for God sake, he should have put his foot down. Speaking days are over.
 
Bar the Bull said:
Speeches usually start at half eight or nine. I have been at two weddings this year where they have gone on for over 1hr30mins. It is not uncommon for the following to speak (groom, bride, father of groom, father of bride, priest, best man, head bridesmaid). This is the worst part of the evening.
Half the tables are cleared at ten o'clock, for a band to start playing. This goes on until midnight.
Click to expand...

Dear God Bar, you could not have summed up Irish weddings any better had you attended one thousand of them. I was at one in Killarney two weeks ago. The speeches were pathetic. The bride spoke for over a half an hour and it was 11pm before they finished. I was empty of drink at the table for an hour except for the top up of my wine class. They told every little story that ever happened in their relationship. It was sickening. My own thoughts are that when you're in a relationship these stories are funny/memorable between the couple and should be kept to yourself. I have another one in September in the same hotel and I am already dreading it.
 
I done best man at a wedding last September. The bridal party as a whole was absolutely shit faced when the speeches came round, meaning nobody wanted to do much talking, just wanted to say our bit without making a holy show of ourselves. Id recommend it to anyone.

Your right about the gap between the bowl of soup and the dinner....We had breakfast in the grooms house at 10am cos his mother is a wagon and couldnt understand wed be better off in bed til near 12....The wedding was at 1, then it was off down the town for photos in a garden thingy, then into her uncles pub for champagne and guiness and brandy and more photos, then up to the hotel around half four, more drink, sitting down for the meal didnt come around til id say well after six. I was sideways. Bridesmaid spilt a full drink down the trousers of the groomsman before we went in. Meal should have been at 3.......

Coming up to a year after the wedding, they havent collected the photos or the video!
 
In fairness the last wedding I was at was bang on. Speeches were short. They had a band of Filipino immigrants with guitars going round to each table playing requests during the meal.

Bride and groom spoke together, which consisted of them basically telling everyone to enjoy themselves, and then they sang "Ring of Fire". With the Filipino dudes on guitar.

That said, the wedding was in west Mayo, and took ages to get to.
 
At least you lot are given enough to drink to anaesthetise the pain in your rears from endless sitting. It's not anything as energy-sapping as when you're given a tiny sherry in an eyeglass after a morning wedding, left to your own devices for the afternoon, and threatened with the full horror of a disco later in the evening after the dinner. At least yours is good fun all day and night, complete with the odd idiot moment. Worst finish to a long, boring day was having the bride's two huge policemen brothers physically pull me out of my chair (and away from a decent drink) to hurl me back and forth between them, pretending it was such fun to be dancing. They were the size of bison and in those days I wasn't, and boy, was I so not amused.
 
You all are lucky - I was at a friends wedding recently where there was a translator required after every speach!! (Generally the Maid of Honour).

NB. the Father of the Bride, Groom, Bestman, Bride and Maid Of Honour all spoke and it had to be translated and must have lasted all of 10 minutes.

Top wedding rounded off by spending an hour or so doing dodgy Czech shots with my mates inlaws :)
 
I was best man at a wedding years ago and made up a fantasy tale about the bride and groom and the letters they wrote each other - they were living in different countries during their courting days - and how one of them had been opened by the bride's mother, leading to a serious denouement. As the tale wore on guffaws came from around the room, and all too late I realised that some people knew something that I did not, and that my innocent fiction was uncomfortably close to the truth.

Afterwards the father of the bride said it was a witty speech. Well, what he actually said was that I must be very smart. He then suggested we adjourn outside, where he would like to put me right on one or two points, but I didn't think his suggestion was kindly meant, and I declined.
 
Grey said:
I was best man at a wedding years ago and made up a fantasy tale about the bride and groom and the letters they wrote each other - they were living in different countries during their courting days - and how one of them had been opened by the bride's mother, leading to a serious denouement. As the tale wore on guffaws came from around the room, and all too late I realised that some people knew something that I did not, and that my innocent fiction was uncomfortably close to the truth.

Afterwards the father of the bride said it was a witty speech. Well, what he actually said was that I must be very smart. He then suggested we adjourn outside, where he would like to put me right on one or two points, but I didn't think his suggestion was kindly meant, and I declined.
Click to expand...

:eek:

Oh My God....

That is why speeches should be banned.
 
Bar the Bull said:
The wedding in Ireland is a curious cultural phenomonon.

My wife and I counted last night, and we have been to 27 weddings in the past six years.

They are extremely expensive to attend.

- A stag or a hen in most cases, which usually includes 2 night's board and a rake of pints.
- A babysitter, as children aren't allowed.
- A day off work (very few seem to be on a Saturday).
- A night or two in a hotel, very few seem to be in Dublin.
- A wedding gift, usually 200 quid in Johnny cash.
- Drycleaned suit and often a new frock for Mrs. Bull.
- Hair do for the wife

For the non-Irish people on the forum, the format tends to be thus:

Church at two
Bride gets there 20 mins late, 1 hour mass
Hang around the church for the team photo
Back to the hotel for a "reception" at 4 o'clock. This usually involves a few glasses of champagne.
You're not called for dinner until six, so this is where the damage is done. You end of drinking a load of pints on an empty stomach (the wife miscalculated getting ready, so the "bowl of soup" before the church never materialised).
Dinner at six. Banquet. 12 people around a large table. The table you're put sitting on often determines the night, as you have to stay with that crowd for dinner, and you are often lagged in rounds with the lads on the table for the night. Food is often really nice. Face well and truly stuffed. Load of wine, pints.
Speeches usually start at half eight or nine. I have been at two weddings this year where they have gone on for over 1hr30mins. It is not uncommon for the following to speak (groom, bride, father of groom, father of bride, priest, best man, head bridesmaid). This is the worst part of the evening.
Half the tables are cleared at ten o'clock, for a band to start playing. This goes on until midnight.
A DJ takes over from 12 to 2.30 or so.
Then everyone goes to the "residents' bar" for more pints. Depending on various variables throughout the day, my hour of retirement is in the range 3am to 6am.
The next day is a nightmare, waiting until you think you are below the limit to drive home. There is often a "do" the next night, hosted by the bride and groom. This is a less formal affair, usually barbecue and a rake of cans.

I have enjoyed 4 of the 27 weddings I have attended.
Click to expand...

Very good post.

It sums it up very well, and describes what has gone wrong in ireland at the same time. It's all about money. I work with Director's in my present company in the UK who are on £90k+ a year, and they thought it preposterous the amount of cash and even the fact they give money at all.

I've kind of lost touch with the guys I grew up with bar 3/4. I didn't go to the weddings I was invited to either. A friend of mine in Dublin went to 5/6 weddings (+ stags) last year. He hence couldn't afford to go on a holiday. Crazy.
 
i met my cousin I lived next door to growing up. he had been to a wedding the previous night. It's just madness. How could you have cash for anything after that.
 
I got married in the 80s when we were still young and broke. There was no stag or hen party. For the wedding reception we hired a hall, a friend made the wedding cake, all the food was brought by friends and family, and another friend who was a part-time dj did a stint for free. The invitation cards, bride's dress, flowers and music at the church were also designed/arranged/composed by friends. The only things not home-made were the drink, and my suit.

I have to say it was the happiest day of my life, and that I enjoy and look forward to weddings, including the speeches. They often show a side of a person you didn't know about before, even when they're awful (Rowan Atkinson's speech as the father of the bride is a comedy classic). The trick with a speech is to be natural and not to overdo it. Five minutes per speech is plenty.
 
be gratefull, ive been invited to a wedding next year....its in Zante.....cheapest package so far is 450 quid each.... thing is you feel really bad when you say sorry but i can't, as ive known the lass for 25 years. Thank god she didnt ask me to be bridesmaid as then id of never got out of it!!!! im also a bit gutted really as one of the lads going is a rugby player and me and him always end up attempting to drink each other under th table it wud be a very entertaining week!!!!
 
I'm getting married in January, and while none of you feckers is invited, before you get any funny ideas (well one of you is, but you know who you are, and you better not get any funny ideas either), any less-than-funny ideas on what pitfalls to avoid or what might be a good idea to incorporate, would be welcome.
 
rorydelargy said:
any less-than-funny ideas on what pitfalls to avoid or what might be a good idea to incorporate, would be welcome.
Click to expand...

Incorporate the bridesmaids in the bedroom. As for pitfalls, arranging to get married in the first place was the one to avoid.
 
Back
Top