Age of Reason

I never liked clingy guys, so one that wants his own time and interests - and mates - does suit some young gals, I'm sure. Just need to find those, chaps, not the ones who are forever seeking to bolster their self-esteem by you being around 24/7.

Hamm - Christ, 30! You're at the age when my mother thought men only started to grow up, and she felt they should never marry before that age, anyway. Nowadays, nobody surely thinks they're knocking on at 30 - and as 70 is the new 60, you're really only 20, which means... you're only just out of your teens!

Try not to get too routinized, though, and 'always' go here and 'always' do this or that. If there's no spontaneity, you're dead, never mind the Age of Reason. Don't suppose you've thought of checking out the action online, or thru speed-dating sessions? If nothing, they'll give you an idea of the range of possibilities, which you aren't going to get over your pints and rugby scores. In fact, keep that routine up, and it will be only rugby players who score.

Do none of you free agents ever go to clubs? Or are they unsatisfactory for finding a suitable female? I don't know - I found all my fun from parties, so perhaps it's time some of you got together and threw one, and asked random lovelies off the street to come along!
 
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I'm a semi hermit, I have no real interest in drink, i'm happy to socialise when it revolves around sport and as long as I have sport on the telly and can play golf regularly, i'm happy.
 
redhead said:
Don't understand women like that.

I have my own interests and don't need to tag along with him. Nor would I expect him to accompany me to somewhere he's bored (he'd probably drive me potty and I would have to kill him).

If he doesn't trust me by myself, bad luck, I'm going anyway.

Certainly wouldn't dream of sitting in a pub waiting for a game to end and then dragging him off for a bit of "quality time" at the supermarket (that's what seems to be happening around me, anyway).

Surely there's more to a relationship than that?
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You sound like my ideal woman.

I know Cheltenham is a bit away but I'm game if you are?! :p
 
krizon said:
I never liked clingy guys, so one that wants his own time and interests - and mates - does suit some young gals, I'm sure. Just need to find those, chaps, not the ones who are forever seeking to bolster their self-esteem by you being around 24/7.

Hamm - Christ, 30! You're at the age when my mother thought men only started to grow up, and she felt they should never marry before that age, anyway. Nowadays, nobody surely thinks they're knocking on at 30 - and as 60 is the new 70, you're really only 20, which means... you're only just out of your teens!

Try not to get too routinized, though, and 'always' go here and 'always' do this or that. If there's no spontaneity, you're dead, never mind the Age of Reason. Don't suppose you've thought of checking out the action online, or thru speed-dating sessions? If nothing, they'll give you an idea of the range of possibilities, which you aren't going to get over your pints and rugby scores. In fact, keep that routine up, and it will be only rugby players who score.

Do none of you free agents ever go to clubs? Or are they unsatisfactory for finding a suitable female? I don't know - I found all my fun from parties, so perhaps it's time some of you got together and threw one, and asked random lovelies off the street to come along!
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I hate clubs. Yes, you can pick up a shag that way but she will no doubt be horrible.

I've tried (and will again) online dating. Some bad luck stories there though. I almost would say it's the best way to meet someone as what are the chances you're going to meet someone you're vaguely compatible with when you're inebriated ... slim.

Some great responses on here!
 
I told ynu a thread on chit chat section was the way forward. If it was not for the sound advice of auntie Krizon and Bar The Bull I'd still be a virgin...
 
Lads! I have the answer for you (and lasses): http://www.racinghearts.co.uk - find a date to go racing with! (Or, for the pedants, with whom to go racing.)

Don't say I don't try to help! Now, I'm sure you're not such a bunch of mingers that there isn't some charming young lass who'd take you up on your offer...

(Gears: it was about time, before you ended up starring in "The 40-Year Old Virgin II"... )

Alternatively: club together and sponsor a cheap race on a Ladies' Day, offering the prize of a dinner out with yourself to the winner of the Best Hat or Cutest Handbag comp. I mean dinner, not down the pub with a packet of pork scratchings and a pint, to watch Wigan v Burnley. You can reveal your true colours in time enough.
 
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Clubs can be ok as long as you only go every so often otherwise it's just same old, same old I find but then I do live in little town where you just bump into the same people all the time. We literally only have one 'club' and a few bars and pubs and I've found since I've stopped drinking as much as I did in my 20s I get bored/tired that much earlier than I used to. Need to take my zimmer out with me next time!

I don't think I've ever told a boyfriend they couldn't do anything or go anywhere as I wouldn't like the same restrictions placed on me. I think it's good if you've got some interests you can share but I don't think I could stand sitting in the pub all afternoon while tha lads watched the football (rugby'd be ok) unless I could have a few drinks and a natter with my friends. I'd rather be doing my own thing that I enjoyed and you can always catch up with them another time, don't have to spend 24/7 with each other.
 
This thread could be about me.41 now married 9 years have 2 kids and haven't had a drink since January.I'd say I always good craic with the people who knew me regardless of being drunk or sober.There is a definite cooling off with lifelong friends due to my reluctance to drink.I'd say I am definitely less craic then I was.
The other side of the coin is that I have managed to pay off the mortgage,have a steady job and two wonderful kids.
 
I'm 44 next month, have a great job, a low mortgage and I can do whatever I want when I want. At the same age my father had three grown up children, a huge mortgage and a high flying job with mega responsibilities.

But I was hurt quite badly by a lady about ten years ago and since then have avoided women who look like they have the capacity to damage me again. I've had half a dozen encounters with women I work with and had a friends with benefits arrangement with an ex for a couple of years which was great. I do however pine for that special someone. I should take the plunge but my life is too comfortable as it is to risk it.

I do think gambling nullifies some of the effects of mid-life crisis though.
 
Now, that's an interesting take on things - here you guys are, all punters to a greater or lesser degree (but pretty steady at the game, whatever), and you seem to be a bit risk averse where wimminfolk are concerned. No problem with following through your ratings, form study, each other's pointers, etc. and lumping on - but come to women, and do I detect the gambling on a result screeches to a halt there?

You're not any of you that worried if you hit a losing streak with your bets - I've seen your remarks over a period of time to know that. But you singletons seem a wee bit skeered of hitting a losing streak/another losing streak with the girls.

Perhaps the excitement of winning bets is like Mick Fitz's attitude to his top winning ride? Better than sex? Sure one isn't being traded for the other? Not that it matters, but it's an interesting idea...
 
What's the big deal with owning a car and ageing??? I bought my first car at 17 and have had one pretty much ever since, with the exception of a few months living in Gibraltar when I didn't need one - did buy one in the end though as I needed to get to Spain.
 
I put my car on ebay with a 99p reserve a couple of years ago. Great buzz. I ended up selling everything I owned, pictures off the walls, bed, the works.

Tyler Durden: The things you own end up owning you.
 
It's all personal preference isn't it?

I wouldn't want to get to 35 without a partner and a house, maybe I'm old fashioned or maybe I'm a sap!

However, I think having a long-term partner between the ages of 25-25 has its pros and cons. Yes, you negate an element of personal independence but it is more than compensated by the companionship in my opinion, it all depends on how much you value your own personal independence. I am lucky in that I have a girlfriend who (most of the time!) accepts the amount of time I spend on both my job (above average for my age I think, phonecalls from the boss at home out of work time etc.) and my passion (gambling on horse racing!).

I would however much rather be on my own than be with a girl who told me I had to go and see her friends on Guineas weekend and wouldn't take no for an answer!

Hamm, these French conversation exchange women seem to be hard work!
 
redhead said:
Don't understand women like that.

I have my own interests and don't need to tag along with him. Nor would I expect him to accompany me to somewhere he's bored (he'd probably drive me potty and I would have to kill him).

If he doesn't trust me by myself, bad luck, I'm going anyway.

Certainly wouldn't dream of sitting in a pub waiting for a game to end and then dragging him off for a bit of "quality time" at the supermarket (that's what seems to be happening around me, anyway).

Surely there's more to a relationship than that?
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What about women who actually love sport? A female friend of mine (Who I've mentioned to Hamm in the past!) probably enjoys sport more than a lot of guys and would actually enjoy watching a football or rugby match in the pub on a Sunday afternoon.
 
Don't understand the car thing either that some people mention, I sold my car when I moved to London and I've probably only actually needed a car on a handful of occasions in nearly two years. A car is a hindrance in London and you can hire one for sod all these days anyway.
 
I have to say to the single boys on here - there are some absolute smashing women around if you look in the right places. I venture out with some of single friends from time to time and whilst I have no wish to be single again, there are some very good opportunities out there for a male who can communicate reasonably and puts a bit of effort in. The more friends, interests you have and the more diverse these are the better your chances of meeting your nap! I remember sharing a house with a friend of mine who was cursing his luck with women while eating a KFC on the couch watching Sky Sports. I remarked that they weren't going to call to the house and bang on the door looking for him. Next day we joined the local gym, golf club, tennis club (savage place for clinkers) golf club and went on piss for two months, taking in every possible social occasion there was to go to within 20 miles - got him out of his rut and we both never had as many "visitors" to the house for the next year. Sometimes you have to radically change your approach to get results.
 
granger said:
I'm a semi hermit, I have no real interest in drink, i'm happy to socialise when it revolves around sport and as long as I have sport on the telly and can play golf regularly, i'm happy.
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If your handicap is any bigger than 16 now you will drive yourself insane trying to get to single figures. I became a golf hermit about ten years ago - got down to 6 but would beat myself up for days for every tiny mistake on the course. Became a complete golf twat - much prefer being a racing twat!:D At least I can blame the jockey now! Beware golf is a hugely individual and introverted game, always remember to have a good laugh while playing.
 
IS: that's not so much a risk, more a death wish!

I think OTB's hit the nail on the noggin - you do have to make an effort - unless you've been signed up by Hollywood and are George Clooney's stand-in, you cannot reasonably expect to find lurve/companionship/a soulmate if you're slobbing about in busted clothes, grubby trainers, slurping down beers and glued to a tv - whether it's in a pub or not. It's not socialising - it's just limpeting yourself to your mates and not setting out on your own. Spruce up, clean up your place or hire a cleaning service if you don't know what to do, make sure you don't have BO or bad breath, and start talking to people! Sounds like there's possibly a ready-made for you, Hamm, if you just give things a chance - so, why don't you? I'm sure you're a presentable, articulate guy - so give it a go. The worst that happens is - nothing. The best that happens is you find each other good company and want to hook up. What's not to like?
 
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2.25 - Just home. Easy know I work away from home. Excellent posts by Krizon ant OTB btw.
 
Good thread indeed. Just to throw a different view into the mix....

Marrying/partnering up in your twenties when you don't have common interests can be a real recipe for trouble in twenty plus years time, when your children have flown the nest and you both realise you in fact have nothing in common!

Not saying you should live in one another's pockets - far from it - but common interests in my own experience are vital.

Am happier with my current relationship even though we don't live together than I ever was when married - we share some common interests and plenty we don't but have enough sense not to bore each other senseless with stuff the other isn't interested in (him - explaining anything mechanical to me. Me - talking about cooking or gardening).
 
The balance of power really shifts between men and women when you hit 27-28, for Irish lads at least.

When I was in my early twenties, I had a lot of female friends. I went out very regularly. I was either a student or in a good job. But I (and a lot of my male friends who weren't very handsome) couldn't get laid for love nor money. A girlfriend was possible, but I pity the fool who is in a relationship aged 22.

Now 10-12 years later, most of my single mates have far more success with women. Both pickups, dates and brief flings. I have punched all the data into my supercomputer here, and the equation is:

If Age < 27, Male d(Shag) > Female d(Relationship)
If Age > 27, Male d(Shag) < Female d(Relationship) {although both are very large. So ladies will put out in the hope of turning wood into gold.}

where the function d(x) is the desire function.

This was true for my generation; I am told by female friends with younger sisters that said younger sisters are sluttier than they were when they were younger.

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As Luke mentioned though, the plusses for me outweigh the minuses. I may miss out on a few epic nights out, but my wife and two sons are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Bed time is a joy. I don't mind putting my sons up to bed either.

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Hamm, you are clearly mixing with the wrong crew if you can't stay out late in London.
 
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