Arse Cup

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PDJ

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Is it about time for this again? DIVER? Relkeel? Anyone else who wants to organise it?
 
Matt Chapman's not even in the same class as Carson, he can't even be considered to achieved the levels that Thomo regularly rides to. This competition needs putting in to categories

Arse of the year or Golden Arse
Most promising new arse
Terrestial Tele Arse
Print Journo Arse
Life time achievement Arse - (actually that's Thomo again)
Arse moment of the year
What about a female arse comp, all the 'stellar arses' are men
 
I think Matt's catching up fast - in fact I'd nearly go so far as to say he's edging past Carson. Then again that may be as Carson is only on the screens once a week whereas I have to suffer that baboon Chapman most days!
 
In the same way that your name is not really Diver, neither is Irish Stamp's. You haven't been paying attention, have you, Clarence?
 
The OED will shortly be including references to Thommo in its definition of Arse. He IS the definitive Arse, the icon Arse to which budding arses aspire. He can Arse at Group Level when all the conditions are against him - eg when the world is asleep, because people have nightarses about him.
I would open a book but only if I could bet without the fav. But then Willie the shortArse moves to odds on.
I agree with the Arse promise displayed by Chapman but he is still wet behind the cheeks.He needs wider exposure so that we can all see what he's really got. Atr is simply not a big enough toilet.
 
The Arse Cup was originally devised and organised by Terry, who, sadly, no longer posts on here.

As an Arse enthusiast myself, I have, for some time, thought about running The Arse Cup 2005 and would be delighted and honoured to do so, if I feel there is sufficient approval and interest from other forumites.

There are plenty of new forumites who might never have witnessed top level Arse competition, so it will be a new experience for them. Having said that, for the rest of us, we will mostly be covering old ground and, let's face it, it isn't the most competitive of betting heats (I would go 1/20 Thommo, 10/1 Carson, 1000/1 Bar).

Please share your views.
 
As the Arse Cup is pretty much a one horse race I would like to propose a handicap system for as mentioned above a Novembarse handicap. Say with Thommo on -20 votes, Carson -5 and Chapman on 0. This way we will be categorically say that Thommo is the biggest Arse ever as hopefully he will win off top weight so to speak and thus all will agree that he's the biggest Arse.

Martin
 
Thommo does not have rivals and if the competition were a handicap we would need a new scale because he is so far ahead in the ratings that even Carson or Chapman dont have any chance.
 
Great idea Martin; a truly great weight carrying performance by Thommo will finally allow me to use my Arse-kle pun.
 
My request is, I suppose, obvious, but then there's no reason why I can't be a bit of an arse on this occasion. Any examples of arseness must have taken place in 2005.Thommo and Willie cannot be allowed to live on pastarse. They have to demonstrate that they are still down to it.
 
I like the look of Chapman with a 20lb pull!!! Talk about the dark Arse of the race!

Unfortunately, until this truly promising Arse gets promoted on terrestrial TV he will not get the recognition he deserves as an Arse great of the future. Those if us that are privileged [eh??!! - Ed.] enough to see him on a near-daily basis are well aware at how much talent the man possesses in Arse terms, eh, Griffin?
 
Yet again today, our novice Arse Matt Chapman demonstrated how rapidly he is improving with his "exclusive, inside information from my man in the Pipe yard" - only for ATR viewers! The "exclusive scoop" that he had was that Pipe would be running two horses in the PP [after Pipe had been quoted in the RP as saying he would run either 2 or 3] & that one would be Our Vic [again, Pipey said as much & went on to say that Timmy would probably ride Our Vic] and that he [Matt, not his mole]thought that the other one "wouldn't be Celestial Gold & I think it will be Therealbandit".

Great inside info there Matt, good stuff!
 
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