gigilo
Senior Jockey
- Joined
- May 5, 2011
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A British man dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter who looks like Jeremy Corbyn at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. You see, we're never sure where any new soul truly belongs; should it be Heaven or should it be Hell."
"No problem, just let me in to Heaven," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven."
"I'm sorry but we have our rules, it doesn't work like that" replies St. Peter. And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. Nearby are all his friends and many other British people who had worked with him. Everyone is in evening attire and very happy to see him. They run to greet him, hug him and reminisce about the good times they had whilst being alive in Britain. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.
Also present is the devil who looks like Boris Johnson who really is very friendly and who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that the time flies, before he realises it, the twenty-four hours have gone and the man has to leave. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door re-opens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." The next day passes with the man joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They all seem to be having a good time and, again before he realises it, the twenty-four hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The man reflects for a minute, then answers, "Well, I never thought for a second that I would have said this, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends and colleagues, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to him and lays his arm on his neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the man. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a beautiful club and we ate lobster and caviar, you told jokes and we danced and had a great time. Now there is only a wasteland full of garbage and my friends all look miserable.”
"The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Here's the thing ~ yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted!"
"No problem, just let me in to Heaven," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven."
"I'm sorry but we have our rules, it doesn't work like that" replies St. Peter. And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. Nearby are all his friends and many other British people who had worked with him. Everyone is in evening attire and very happy to see him. They run to greet him, hug him and reminisce about the good times they had whilst being alive in Britain. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.
Also present is the devil who looks like Boris Johnson who really is very friendly and who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that the time flies, before he realises it, the twenty-four hours have gone and the man has to leave. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door re-opens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." The next day passes with the man joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They all seem to be having a good time and, again before he realises it, the twenty-four hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The man reflects for a minute, then answers, "Well, I never thought for a second that I would have said this, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends and colleagues, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to him and lays his arm on his neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the man. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a beautiful club and we ate lobster and caviar, you told jokes and we danced and had a great time. Now there is only a wasteland full of garbage and my friends all look miserable.”
"The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Here's the thing ~ yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted!"
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