The Forum Doctor

Honest Tom

Honest Tom

At the Start
Joined
May 2, 2003
Messages
1,272
When I was a boy most other lads wanted to be a footballer or an astronaut when they grew up whereas I always wanted to be a Sunday Post Doctor. In preperation I read many health related articles so, if you have any condition or symptoms you are worried about please post them here and I will do my upmost to help. I mean this most sincerely.
 
Originally posted by Honest Tom@Oct 4 2006, 09:09 AM
I have recently experienced pains in my legs and toes. What does this mean please?
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Sounds like angina to me Tom.
 
Originally posted by Honest Tom+Oct 4 2006, 09:10 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Honest Tom @ Oct 4 2006, 09:10 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Honest Tom@Oct 4 2006, 09:09 AM
I have recently experienced pains in my legs and toes. What does this mean please?
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Sounds like angina to me Tom. [/b][/quote]
eek.gif
 
Originally posted by Colin Phillips@Oct 4 2006, 09:10 AM
................I think I may have eaten something in the food chain that might kill me...........I am terribly worried, can you help me, Doctor Tom?
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Colin, you are clearly exhibiting symptoms of mad cow's disease. There is currently no cure for it although the orange lodge may be able to burn it out of you.
 
Colin, I apologise as I may have misdiagnosed you. On second thoughts it's probably diphtheria.
 
Major ........., sorry Doctor Tom

I notice you have started talking to yourself, especially on horse racing forums. Might I suggest you need to see a doctor.
 
Originally posted by BrianH@Oct 4 2006, 10:32 AM
I keep getting these uncontrollable urges
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Sounds to me like you have had a blackout Brian. This could be down to the constant exposure to solvents you suffered when you worked in trick jobbies. Try putting a corn plaster on your eye.
 
Originally posted by Diamond Geezer@Oct 4 2006, 10:30 AM
Major ........., sorry Doctor Tom

I notice you have started talking to yourself, especially on horse racing forums. Might I suggest you need to see a doctor.
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DG, that other Honest Tom is not a regular poster on this forum.
 
Dear Dr Tom:

I believe I may be suffering from a form of Edwinus Currietinitus: I have uncontrollable urges to show off, tell everyone how to behave, and try to change their nasty habits like misplacing commas, apostrophes and using 'of' instead of 'have'. I have even been accused of sarcasm, which I'm sure is wrong, but I wouldn't like this to develop into full-blown McCririckania, which I believe leads to madness and death.

Yours sincerely

Always Right
Brighton
 
Dear Always Right,

You are suffering from a new strain of sciatica. Eat plenty of eggs as these contain the RDD of salmonella required for healthy maintenance of the middle ear.
 
Dear Dr. Tom:

Fantastic! I'm off to crack a 12-egg omelette right now, safe in the knowledge that I can continue to be...

... Always Right! ;)


Note to forum: this is a top bloke. Really knows his stuff.
 
Dear Doctor Tom, I feel sick everytime I see Nick Luck on TV, how do I contain this nausea? I don't want to stop watching Racing UK, but if I must, I will.
 
I saw that Colin.................. Oh I have to go, just thinking about him has brought on the arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....................................... too late. :lol:
 
Originally posted by Diminuendo@Oct 4 2006, 11:55 AM
Dear Doctor Tom, I feel sick everytime I see Nick Luck on TV, how do I contain this nausea? I don't want to stop watching Racing UK, but if I must, I will.
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Diminuendo, This man has been known to impregnate women through the TV screen so your nausea may not be what you think. Purchase a NL pregnancy kit (if positive it makes a snorting noise).
 
HT, as the newly appointed forum doctor, would you mind letting me have a quick peek at your credentials before I put my latest symptons to you? :ph34r:
 
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