Things Only Arseholes Say...

R

Relkeel

At the Start
Joined
Oct 21, 2003
Messages
828
Location
Monmouthshire
Simples!

Can you top that up, Love? I ordered a pint, not a half.

Why don't you just back every horse in that race? That way, you're sure to win.

Know what I mean?

I support Manchester United.



Your turn...
 
People who think they're clever writing as follows:

What. A. Goal.

It's cringeworthy..
 
While you're down there love.

Next train to Blackburn?

Ugh, you can't make out the words to that song.

He's home for all money.
 
At the end of the day...

(I thought it was 'home for old money', Euro? Must find the Otex.)

Lovely weather for ducks. (Yes, I really, really have heard it, and more than once.)

I'm not a bigot/racist/snob, but... (fill in bias here)

I don't know anything about art/music/theatre/writers, but I know what I like

Stop it, or I'll tell your Dad when we get home (from whining, pathetic mothers)

........................................... (That's the surly silence from inattentive shop/bar/cafe staff)

Hi, guys, what're you having? (Over-friendly restaurant staff. Do you need to use my specs? I am not a GUY, sonny)

Pretty much every lazy cliche going by race commentators - I am sick to death of horses jumping from fence to fence, in the box seat, and other meaningless blitherings

All these foreign people are taking our jobs (so, you're applying for the post of neuro-surgeon or toilet cleaner, are you? No, figured not.)

What gets on my wick (is people who say what gets on my wick)
 
To be perfectly frank.... (and Ernest?)

He literally split his sides laughing... (and the misuse of literally everywhere)

I'm with Haitch Ess Bee Cee Bank. (Ho, his that so? A pox on all aitch-adders - it's worse than dropping them.)

Givin' it large, yeah? (In direct opposition to your brain, yeah?)

Wha'evvah (or has that been dropped as unclevvah now?)
 
Don't you know who I am? (One answer to which is, "No, but don't worry. Let's see if we can find nursey to help you.")

Yeah, my friends say I'm really deep, like.

I'm mad, me! Mad!
 
The use of "erm" every other word.......

Do you mind if I just point out one little thing (which turns into a lecture!)

Do you know what time it is?! (well doh yes thats why I am sneaking in with my shoes off and trying to stop the dog from making a noise!!)

(Hubby talking to the dog) - What do you think you are doing..... (as if expecting an answer!)
 
Everything happens for a reason (you've ballsed something up again, haven't you?)

All I want to be is happy (no shit! And here's me trying to be suicidally desperate!)

It's not the end of the world (true, that'll be in approximately 5bn years' time)

I don't believe in making plans (you're not an architect, I hope)

I'm not being critical, but...

Cheap at twice the price (okay, mate, then it's double for you)
 
Isn't it just

Americanisms - transition to a new role; 'around'; 'piece' e.g. "Let's have a discussion around the transition piece"

For sure (c. H Redknapp)

Look - start of every sentence by Australian cricketers, now adopted by Strauss and several colleagues

Verballised nouns - to scapegoat, to medal (at the Olympics) etc

Rocket science

A few something short of something else

The *** community, e.g. Muslim
 
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