Arse Cup

True - they've shown so much early promise and yet failed to improve upon their early arseness.

Taaarnyaa proved to be ungenuine, relying too much upon extreme hair colouring/styling and bizarre headgear in an effort to paper over her real talent in odds-calling. Fillies must learn that if any real ability or talent is to be shown, there should be no efforts to mask it by wearing dreadful clothing or adopting silly hair cuts, which will make them simply look schoolmistressy or slightly deranged.

Graham proved a one-trick pony with her perpetual gurning, which made her look more suited to the role of companion to the abominable Doctor Phibes, than the charmingly warm personality she no doubt is, if nothing else.

Happychaparse, though, does show steady improvement, with occasional sparks of demented, hyperactive and irrational areseness overriding even Tommo's demented, hyperactive, but usually tenuously linked, arseness. Chaparse looks like going one of two ways: self-combusting on air (66-1), being sacked (15-1), or, at an outside chance, being Shergared by professionals in the pay of any number of infuriated trainers and insulted owners. One lives in hope...
 
:lol: :lol: Too late for these - the phrase 'cover your arse' comes way too late to redeem them! Tongue-ties failed, too, DIVER - Chaparse's was worn through in the first hour.
 
I think some kind of thumpability scale needs to be introduced, or at least some objective criteria with mark scheme to assess candidates against?. A sort of sliding list of reactions you have when ever the arse contender appears, but Tommo's still ultimate 'staying arse machine' that sets the standard. His piece with Nicky Hendersons daughter at Sandown this year was still the best display of arseness put up this year and tops my rankings to date
 
Originally posted by Warbler@May 30 2006, 02:17 PM
I think some kind of thumpability scale needs to be introduced, or at least some objective criteria with mark scheme to assess candidates against?. A sort of sliding list of reactions you have when ever the arse contender appears,
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That's a good idea. My scale is based on do I feel the need to switch over when they come on. I can watch Thommo, but Chaparse sees me searching for the remote. Likewise ghastly Tanya.
 
Warbler

Arse-form ratings have already been discussed on here.

In fact, when it was revealed that Thommo has an Arse-form rating of 212, he was dubbed "Arse-kle".

At the moment, I have C-arse-on on 180 and Chapr-arse on 160P.
 
McCririck is on top form at Brighton

"trainers are the last people that should be consulted in racing decisions"
 
Big Mac does have high Arse Dosage but he has redeeming features which get him off the meat hook(what a sight that would be). He constantly puts women down, he critisizes bookmakers and other Channel 4 presenters, he loves Dom Perignon.............
 
Surprised this has not been mentioned today!!!!!

My vote goes to Jim McGrath on BBC today for his dire "commentating" on the races.....in particular his description of Ouija Board.....gallant mare....hmmm I did not think she found much for pressure.....and then describing her run as the "race of her life"......desperate stuff.
 
Barry Dennis in his column in The Sun today (It was left by someone on the train before you all comment)

"The French don't win our Derby so I will be laying Visindar. What will win? Linda's Lad."

He beggars belief.
 
Its the first time I've had the chance to assess Car Arse this year, and I'd forgotten what a prize pillock he is. You'd have thought given his own histroy as a top jock, and the particularl configuartion of Epsom he'd have known where the 5F course was.
Ray Cochrane, why does he tuck his tie in his trousers? prat!!!
 
How far the BBC has fallen. Imagine - I am a racing fanatic on the biggest falt day of the year, and 50% of the time I am watching with no sound.

Carson and Persowhatisname are just so unbelieveably annoying. That fuckin eejit following Dwyer into the changing room when he was as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit was jaw dropping.
 
Have to say prize moment was Clare Balding asking Fallon what his tactics for Derby were going to be,yes why not inform all the other jockeys in advance just to be nice!
I like Aidan O'Brien calling Rishi Persad,Ritchie.
Carson commentatin yesterday on Ace stride by stride on way to post."Oh hes trying to get him to walk,now hes trotting,oh look hes cantering".Yes we can all see that.
Worst part was Hydias interview with John Magnier,you just felt he'd rather do anything else rather than speak to her at that moment
 
I would think Lydia's increasingly in serious danger of being loaded by the stall handlers if they keep sending her down to cover the start;

for she doth look like ye Tatling thy think.

I thought Magnier came close to terminating the interview.

Mind you the biggest non feature had to be the countdown clock, (whose bright idea was that? and what did it add?)
 
I find it utterly astonishing that a man who was at the top of his sporting profession for decades, was champion jockey 5 times and rode nearly 4,000 winners (including 17 UK classics) can twitter, giggle, blunder and waffle his way through 2 days of top-class racing without ever hinting that he was about to tell us anything remotely helpful, interesting or insightful.

It has been a magnificent display of arse and a shot across the bows of Thommo. I reckon that after 5 days of Little Willie at Royal Ascot, we could have a new Arse Cup favourite on our hands - something that was unthinkable to many (including myself) when Thommo was running about barefoot on Redcar beach with Graham Goode only a few months ago.
 
Originally posted by Relkeel@Jun 3 2006, 07:19 PM
It has been a magnificent display of arse and a shot across the bows of Thommo. I reckon that after 5 days of Little Willie at Royal Ascot, we could have a new Arse Cup favourite on our hands - something that was unthinkable to many (including myself) when Thommo was running about barefoot on Redcar beach with Graham Goode only a few months ago.
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I agree. I think presenters in general are getting worse, and the BBC with five days of Royal Ascot are about to come into their own in the Arse Cup. The best part of a weeks worth of Willie, Lydia and Rishi making complete and utter fools of themselves and embarressing the great and the good.

As an aside, I had a dyslexic moment when on the Racing Post site. I thought the headline read "Arse Sir Percy" :lol:
 
Loughran did it again. Before the National he commented on the massive liabilies bookmakers had on Shotgun Willy who was something like 100/1 for the race. Cannot remember the exact figure.

Today he saw Coral or William Hills had liabilities of 80 million (did I get that right?) on another rank outsider Sixties Icon....this must be bull shit surely???
 
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