Arse Cup

Ian Wright's in a league of his own as World Cup arse. In fact it's painful to watch and the BBC really ought to know better
 
I am firmly of the view that a chifney should be fitted to Dale McKeown - his appalling arseness is overshadowed by some of the performers who get to appear on the Grade 1 tracks but when it comes to ATR stateside he is a Secretariat amongst arses.
 
Originally posted by Warbler@Jun 5 2006, 10:54 PM
I might have said the odd unkind thing about her, but then again her rear end wouldn't disgrace a 5F sprinter in my totally unfair opinion. Personally I've struggled to get this image out of my mind of her doing a
Click to expand...
 
Who decided that the Attheraces coverage of Royal Ascot should be presented by
Thommo, Chap-arse and McCririck? My God, every minute has been appaling.

It's been an explosion of arse and a shameful attempt to out-arse the BBC at their biggest arse meeting of the year.
 
Did they announce the new facility that Tommo referred to yesterday?

Whereby you press the RED button and you have access to views of the horses before the races..................that would be a "refreshing change" for ATR.
 
Here we go folks....

Five days of Balding, Rishi, Cochrane, Bartlett, Loughran and of course Carson.

However, we also get the most upper class man ever to have lived in James Sherwood.

Paddy Power have cottoned on to a winner here I think...

"Fabulous" 6/1
 
Carsons out the stalls early and straight into the lead with his idea that Ascot have been transplanting mature trees. Poor old Clare tries to point out you can't do that, but Carsons adamant. If it wasn't for the paucity of BBC coverage Carson really could beat Tommo
 
Tommo has broken magnificently from the stalls and is showing that early turn of foot and phrase which has seen him take the Arse championship from many a mere pretender. On walkabout, he swoops upon an unsuspecting young couple sitting on the lawn, reading the sports pages: "Hallo, hallo, where are you from? Are you here for a day out?" :blink:

Then sturdily on with cries of "Och aye the noooooo... " having spotted a far too Sassenach-friendly young chap in a kilt. Out with your dirk, you wimp, and gut him on the spot! No, everyone is going to prove that most people are basically good and kind, and refrain from dinging him with the nearest bottla Bolly or spearing him with their high-heeled Jimmy Choos.

Oh, the horror, the horror....
 
Willie Carson's the Ghostzapper of Arseness, you don't see him out very often but when you do he's always on top form and puts in a mighty performance.
 
It's not a group one Willy...

I liked James's comment "look at that cleavage, you could dive in there". Shame Paddy hadn't priced that one up!
 
He was also my tip for leading first season sire till Happy Jack told me how many named foals he's had - glad he's had a Group winner, even if it is his only winner thus far.
 
The racing may be Group 1 but so is the arseness . I don't think I have ever seen such a spectacular break from the stalls in the Arse Cup - Jim McGrath is swooping along in front for me - an inaccurate commentary in the first when he failed to mention Major Cadeaux till near the end and a vomitworthy coming in his pants after TTs win . Carson has also showed sensational early speed.
 
Balding is showing worrying arseness - she has just described the SJPS field as a high class field ?? No they are well below par on current form
 
Persad - "Good performance from Proclamation today"

If i was at Ascot and had been within earshot i`d have ripped his fucking throat off.
 
Meanwhile over on ATR Chaparse's boasting about tipping Araafa and McCririck's general imbecility meant the BBC had stiff competition.

All we needed was Dale McKeown and Jade Goody doing the fashion .
 
Not sure if this should be onthis thread; but did anyone avail themselves of the new ATR Extra service yesterday?

It's available by pressing the RED button, whence you can chose the Extra service.
Which consists of separate coverage and views of the horses in the parade-ring. Which is all very well but they are only using 25% of the screen for the pictures, the rest of the screen consists of links to our old friends, the bookmakers.

To these old eyes, the pictures of the horsies were a complete waste of time.
 
I have reached the conclusion that the Attheraces coverage of Royal Ascot is truly awful.

This morning we have inane chat between that utter bimbo Zoe Bird and that self publicising bufoon McCririck interspersed with sections of Thommo twatting around somewhere else on the racecourse and that arse Chapman in the booth talking utter bollocks and trying to engage in pathetic non-amusing pantomime banter with McCririck.

Matt Doyle is the only person on the team who is trying to give us any useful information or informed opinion (albeit mumbled) and the poor fellow is continually interrupted by McCririck.

Oh how I long to listen to Luck/Hislop chatting with guest Mellish/Cunningham about the racing. RacingUK's coverage of Cheltenham was simple but was a million times better than this shit.
 
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