Arse Cup

Clare Balding "the Hills twins, can you spot the difference both of them top class jockey's" - i'm sure there's someone around who'll disagree with that.
 
"The focus of the day is the racing"

I'm glad at least Claire realises that, shame the rest of the BBC don't seem to.
 
That's a standard phrase Stan, they'll soon be on to the fashion for half an hour and the silly hat contest and floaty dress watch with James.
 
They've spent more time discussing fashion, football and the Queen than they have the racing so far.

I was at work yesterday and we had it on mute, I may do the same today!
 
That James chap obviously doesn't listen to his own advice. Yesterday when he was looking for an outfit with Hayley Turner I had to giggle at his little pot belly poking out from his jacket which was about two sizes too small and straining with only one button done up, it made him look rather silly :lol:
 
I'll give James his dues, he is making me laugh "she looks like a toilet dolly", "oh look she's got a table cloth on" and "welcome to the seventies, the decade that taste forgot" :lol:
 
Big Mac needs to get himself down to Specsavers. According to him, Mont Etoile had an uniterrupted run and he kept harping on about how hard done by Scottish Stage was. Now in the race I watched, Mont Etoile had just as much bother as Scottish Stage and both squeezed through the same gap.
 
Totally agree,he really is doing my head in today (it's lucky we don't have the sound on at work so I only have to put up with the idiot today).
If Mont Etoile had been beat she would have been a very unlucky loser.
Reunite didn't get much luck in running either and looks like one to take out of the race.
 
I'm sorry to sound hopelessly out-of-the-social-know, but what are the Redknapps? I know there's an old geezer called Harry, who seems to be in and out of managing various teams, but what is the connection to Royal Ascot? The girl seemed to be forever drinking, and the boy was clearly enamoured with the price of everything he'd lobbed out on his gear. Dear God, has it really come to this?

The camp wee Sherwood chappie was hilariously snappish - and rightly so in the cases he mentioned. Yesterday I spotted several styles from 2 seasons ago (orf with their heads!), frumps, dowds, near-misses on co-ordinating colours, scuffed heels on shoes and crusty heels on unstockinged feet; uncrowned hats (clearly a no-no set out in the Royal Enclosure's advance guidelines entitled "It's Royle Ascot, Innit - 'ow to Dress Like What You Should"), bare shoulders (ditto) and (gasp!) FLIP-FLOPS! Now, one's feet may be raw, bleeding lumps or have severed all contact with the rest of one's body, but one does NOT resort to FLIP-FLOPS - this is Ascot, not bloody Bermuda!

(Faints clean away at the horror of it all...) :(
 
Were they on the telly as well?

I was listening to radio 5 at lunch and someone called Rob Nothman was interviewing the Rednapps. A total waste of time, following on some crap about how much money was being bet on what colour outfit the Queen was to be wearing.

Lysaght was at his execrable worst. I fully understand that horse racing is an official repository for unemployable old Etonians, but this is ridiculous.

The only upside was listening to the Gold Cup commentary by the excellent John Hunt, who has at last put his foot down and barred Lysaght from interrupting his commentaries with his vacuous wafflings. Hunt really painted a terrific "radio picture" of the race, and they should give him the racing "correspondentship" of BBC radio without delay.
 
What about McCririck's performance this week!! :blink:

Does this man love the sound of his own voice!! :angy:

What a choice Chapman and McCririck on ATR and Persad and Carson on BBC. :what:

You would think it would be impossible to ruin an event like Ascot for a racing enthusiast but these three days have been hell. :cry:

Ascot's lack of punctuality hasn't helped either. :nerd:
 
Originally posted by Irish Stamp@Jun 22 2006, 02:46 PM
Clare Balding "the Hills twins, can you spot the difference both of them top class jockey's" - i'm sure there's someone around who'll disagree with that.
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Too damn right - Richard Hills is a complete muppet. How the hell he manages to hold down his job is beyond me - the man is attracted to trouble in running like flies to shit & if he can't find it he manufactures it. Not to mention weak as a kitten in a finish compared to the other jocks. He's enough to put me off backing a horse - there are only a handful of jocks who have the same effect!!
 
Yesterday, Thommo was interviewing Neil Wilkins (of VCBet) live on Attheraces. NW reported that VC had laid Langford in The Hunt Cup.

Quick as a flash, Thommo interupts with; "a bonnie horse, ho ho ho".

It struck me that no other arse has the same reflexes as Thommo. NW paused only for the shortest intake of breath and in that time, Thommo spotted the chance to dive in with an arse comment and had delivered the lame pun in the blink of an eye.

This ia a perfect example to non Arse enthusiasts as to why Thommo is held in such high esteem in arse spotting circles!

Credit goes to NW for completely ignoring him and continuing with his speech.
 
Ven - the Redknapps were never blasted well off it today! First, the female (is it Louisa?) waffling and giggling with another female about 'fashion' and parading her own bizarre concoction - a cross between a Victorian petticoat and strips of black, shiny ribbons - noting how (giggle, grin, giggle) her bare shoulders were 'not permitted in here', then appearing later wrapped with Granny's old black shawl around them (giggle, grin), drinking either pink champers or Cava (giggle, grin), while her rather high-voiced husband (?) droned on about FOOTBLEEDINBALL and his Savile Row suit, for God's sake. Then Persad and he showed off the insides of their toppers - Rishi's is presumably sweat-stained, whilst the Redknapp chap's was brand new and expensive, as he had to tell us.

Why not just leave the price labels on everything, you noove, or have a running total at the side of the screen, like the SPs, announcing how much you spent on your outfit? Gauche, gross, and ghastly.

(Goes off for 253rd cup of tea, now that it's available all day at home...) <_<
 
Originally posted by Colin Phillips@Jun 22 2006, 07:33 PM
What a choice Chapman and McCririck on ATR and Persad and Carson on BBC. :what:
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I'd watched the BBC for the first two days but having had quite enough of seeing all the women being slagged off for their choice of attire by two people I wouldn't allow to dress one of my kids dolls let alone me, I tried suffering ATR this afternoon. I honestly cannot decide which was worse :what: McCririck just would not shut up :cry:
 
I'd like to see the fashion bloke, who sounds like he's got his head stuck right up his own backside, have the balls to go and criticise some of these people to their faces, rather than from the comfort of the BBC "area". I think he'd get smacked in the face. Anyone for a punch up??
I'm not a violent person at all, but I don't like his smug self importance.
What right really has he got to sit there and criticise what people are wearing. They wear what they want, not to see that it meets his "standards".
If I went, I'd probably be the worst dressed lady, but then again, what can he tell us about horse racing? I hope the BBC sack him.
 
I'm so glad somebody else mentioned Sherwood's pot belly,it made me laugh so much.Why on earth if you were 7ft tall like Jodie Kidd and going racing to be surrounded by pixieheads would you then wear a top hat.Madness I tell you!
 
Originally posted by suerunner@Jun 23 2006, 09:30 AM
I'd like to see the fashion bloke, who sounds like he's got his head stuck right up his own backside, have the balls to go and criticise some of these people to their faces, rather than from the comfort of the BBC "area". I think he'd get smacked in the face. Anyone for a punch up??
I'm not a violent person at all, but I don't like his smug self importance.
What right really has he got to sit there and criticise what people are wearing. They wear what they want, not to see that it meets his "standards".
If I went, I'd probably be the worst dressed lady, but then again, what can he tell us about horse racing? I hope the BBC sack him.
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I dunno - at first I would have agreed with you, Suerunner but he's rather grown on me! If you're going to have a fashion section at RA (and let's be fair, it is an integral part of the race meeting imo) then far better to have a proper critique than all that bland 'Oooh, isn't she lovely' crap when the individual in question looks like a bag-lady....

And to be fair, he's pretty even-handed in his criticisms.

Agreed, it would be great entertainment for him to give it out face-to-face though.... :P
 
The best fashion pundit I've ever seen is the Arsemaster General himself. He turns fashion commentary into a letcherous art form the likes of which can leave no one in any doubt who the true king of arse is. I know I posted a critique of his performance at Chester a few years ago, so won't re-produce it, but I swear I came dangerously close to ringing the police and trying to have him arrested before he committed some indecent act.

I wish to put a hopeful (but 99.9% futile I realise) plea out. If this classic 'out take' exists in Channel 4's (arse)chive? would it be possible to track it down and have it posted up some how? Does anyone have a media contact as I doubt its the sort of thing CH4 would let out into public domain otherwise. It would be the central piece of evidence in any trial and all those who doubt Thommo's true credentials would capitulate instantly when confronted with the gravity of this sustained attack of letcherous arseness. If you thought he was bad the way he honed in on Hendersons daughter at Sandown, that performance has got nothing on this.

I distinctly remember him interviewing the following Saturday (I think it was Barry Hills at Newmarket). Dear old Barry didn't answer Thommo's question, (so impressed had he been by Thommos arse performance). His first reply was "I'm surprised they've let you out again with a microphone Derek, after your performance outside the ladies at Chester on Wednesday". That's the mark of a true arse you see. One whose still talked about, both feared and reveared in equal quantity long after the arse moment has passed
 
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