walsworth
Journeyman
I finally managed to see my GP today and showed her the rash on my bum. She totally ignored me and carried on pushing her trolley round Tesco 's .
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Jokes
- Thread starter Merlin the Magician
- Start date
Desert Orchid
Senior Jockey
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2005
- Messages
- 28,093
This is the angriest post I've seen on here in a while...
I'm afraid my days of loitering within tent are over. Not a fan.
Len Madeiros
Journeyman
An insult for the ages:
“Your dad shouts at hotels”.
“Your dad shouts at hotels”.
walsworth
Journeyman
walsworth
Journeyman
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches.
It doesn't, it shits on the floor.
It doesn't, it shits on the floor.
walsworth
Journeyman
I saved a young lady's life today, she was preparing to throw herself off a cliff.
I said, "Any chance of a quicky before you jump?
She called me a dirty old pervert and told me to get lost
I said "OK I'll just wait for you at the bottom."
She changed her mind!
I said, "Any chance of a quicky before you jump?
She called me a dirty old pervert and told me to get lost
I said "OK I'll just wait for you at the bottom."
She changed her mind!
Jayhawk
Apprentice
A woman is asleep on the tube when the train stops abruptly. She is started from her sleep and pitches across the carriage. In order to steady herself she falls into a man's lap and grabs the first thing to hand. Looking extremely embarrassed and worried that she might have missed her stop she glances around the carriage and says " Oh my god, is this Cockfosters ? " " No, pleased to meet you ma'am. Miller's the name ".
Jayhawk
Apprentice
walsworth
Journeyman
BREAKING NEWS:
Police have arrested a Danish man, Lars Crismos, on suspicion of human organ trafficking.
Police have arrested a Danish man, Lars Crismos, on suspicion of human organ trafficking.
Jayhawk
Apprentice
Jayhawk
Apprentice
" Roy Keane's on 50 grand a week. Mind you, so was I until the police found my printing machine." ( Clue - he scored a famous FA Cup goal from a free-kick against Arsenal. )
A young boy goes to his grandad and asked "where does Poo come from Grandad"
So grandad thought it was better to tell the truth and said "when you have your dinner the food goes into your stomach and your stomach takes all the good out of it and sends all the bad bits into your bottom so when you go to the toilet that's when Poo comes out"
The young boy looked at him puzzled and said "well what about Tigger.
So grandad thought it was better to tell the truth and said "when you have your dinner the food goes into your stomach and your stomach takes all the good out of it and sends all the bad bits into your bottom so when you go to the toilet that's when Poo comes out"
The young boy looked at him puzzled and said "well what about Tigger.
