Jokes
- Thread starter Merlin the Magician
- Start date
Irish Stamp
Forum Moderator
An Aussie walks into the local Centrelink office in Bondi, marches
straight up to the counter and says, "I hate being on the dole eh?.
I'd really rather have a job. That'd be choice bro."The clerk
behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just
got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to
drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be
expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a
two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is
$200,000 a year".The Bro says, "You're bullshitting me!"The
Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".
straight up to the counter and says, "I hate being on the dole eh?.
I'd really rather have a job. That'd be choice bro."The clerk
behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just
got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to
drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be
expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a
two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is
$200,000 a year".The Bro says, "You're bullshitting me!"The
Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
I heard that with a SCOUSE as the said person a few years back! maybe they are ALL in employment in LIVERPOOL now??????...................
Irish Stamp
Forum Moderator
There's only one Walkabout in Liverpool Merlin so that can't be the case
Shadow Leader
At the Start
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2003
- Messages
- 9,884
It's a very good joke - I too heard it a while ago on the subject of scousers (much more appropriate!!!!) Funnily enough, my colleague had the same joke sent to him yesterday, but again, with a scouser the subject of the joke.
Irish Stamp
Forum Moderator
I edited it as it was about mauri's but wasn't sure what they'd be doing in Bondi?
Shadow Leader
At the Start
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2003
- Messages
- 9,884
If the joke originated in Bondi I'm very surprised that the subject matter wasn't Abbos.
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
Birthday Boy!
Two weeks ago was my 40th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good
that morning.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy
Birthday!", and probably have a present for me.
>>
As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any Happy Birthday". I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember.
>>
The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I
left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
>>
As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning,
Boss, Happy Birthday".
>>
And I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked
until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
>>
I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go!"
>>
We went to lunch, we didn't go where we normally go; instead we went
out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch
tremendously.
>>
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful
day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
>>
I said, "No, I guess not."
>>
She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
>>
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think I'll go into the bedroom."
>>
"Sure!" I excitedly replied.
>>
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday!
>>
And I just sat there...
>>
On the couch...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
NAKED!!!
Two weeks ago was my 40th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good
that morning.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy
Birthday!", and probably have a present for me.
>>
As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any Happy Birthday". I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember.
>>
The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I
left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
>>
As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning,
Boss, Happy Birthday".
>>
And I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked
until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
>>
I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go!"
>>
We went to lunch, we didn't go where we normally go; instead we went
out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch
tremendously.
>>
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful
day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
>>
I said, "No, I guess not."
>>
She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
>>
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think I'll go into the bedroom."
>>
"Sure!" I excitedly replied.
>>
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday!
>>
And I just sat there...
>>
On the couch...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
NAKED!!!
THE BOX OF CHOCOLATES
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a box of chocolates:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally. "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband".
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade."
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a box of chocolates:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally. "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband".
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade."
:lol: Nice! Here's one I received earlier...
Mary-Lou returned home early one day to find her husband in the bedroom, in the throes of making love to a young woman. Appalled, she shrieked abuse at him, told him he was a wicked, faithless creep, and that she wanted a divorce right NOW!
"Now, hang on, honey," said her husband, Billy-Joe. "There's a very good explanation for what I was doing there. Y'see, I was driving the truck back along Highway 31 when I saw this poor young woman staggering along the road, looking for a lift. She was dirty, her clothes were shabby and torn, and she hadn't eaten in three days."
"So what?" screamed Mary-Lou, "That doesn't mean you have to take her to bed, does it! I want you out - now!"
"Calm down, babe," continued Billy-Joe. "Look - she hadn't eaten, so I offered to bring her back for a snack. You remember those enchiladas you refused to eat last night? You said you were getting fat, and were going to diet. So I took them out of the fridge and she just about inhaled them, she was so hungry. Now, you know I said she was dirty? I offered her a shower, because she hasn't been able to get near a motel for a week. She used that shower gel my sister gave you last Christmas, which you wouldn't use because you and she had a barney. See the clothes I've given her? There's the tee-shirt you bought on sale and found was too tight, there's the sweater your Mother knitted you and you said was the wrong colour, and there are those jeans and boots you bought for line-dancing, and never went. I gave all those unwanted things to her, because you ain't gonna miss them."
Mary-Lou continued to glare at her husband. "Yeah, okay, but you wanna explain to me how you ended up in bed with her?"
Billy-Joe smiled and replied, "That's easy. After she got all cleaned up, ate your enchiladas and put on your reject clothes, she was so grateful, and then she asked me if there was anything else that my wife didn't use?"
Mary-Lou returned home early one day to find her husband in the bedroom, in the throes of making love to a young woman. Appalled, she shrieked abuse at him, told him he was a wicked, faithless creep, and that she wanted a divorce right NOW!
"Now, hang on, honey," said her husband, Billy-Joe. "There's a very good explanation for what I was doing there. Y'see, I was driving the truck back along Highway 31 when I saw this poor young woman staggering along the road, looking for a lift. She was dirty, her clothes were shabby and torn, and she hadn't eaten in three days."
"So what?" screamed Mary-Lou, "That doesn't mean you have to take her to bed, does it! I want you out - now!"
"Calm down, babe," continued Billy-Joe. "Look - she hadn't eaten, so I offered to bring her back for a snack. You remember those enchiladas you refused to eat last night? You said you were getting fat, and were going to diet. So I took them out of the fridge and she just about inhaled them, she was so hungry. Now, you know I said she was dirty? I offered her a shower, because she hasn't been able to get near a motel for a week. She used that shower gel my sister gave you last Christmas, which you wouldn't use because you and she had a barney. See the clothes I've given her? There's the tee-shirt you bought on sale and found was too tight, there's the sweater your Mother knitted you and you said was the wrong colour, and there are those jeans and boots you bought for line-dancing, and never went. I gave all those unwanted things to her, because you ain't gonna miss them."
Mary-Lou continued to glare at her husband. "Yeah, okay, but you wanna explain to me how you ended up in bed with her?"
Billy-Joe smiled and replied, "That's easy. After she got all cleaned up, ate your enchiladas and put on your reject clothes, she was so grateful, and then she asked me if there was anything else that my wife didn't use?"
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
:lol: Jon
She was in the kitchen making the boiled eggs for breakfast.
He walks in and she says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment".
He, thinking it's his lucky day, makes love to her over the kitchen table.
Afterwards he says, "What was that all about?"
She says, "The egg timer's broken!"
She was in the kitchen making the boiled eggs for breakfast.
He walks in and she says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment".
He, thinking it's his lucky day, makes love to her over the kitchen table.
Afterwards he says, "What was that all about?"
She says, "The egg timer's broken!"
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on its head."
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on its head."
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started...
During a visit to the Mental Asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug." Do you want a room with or without a view?
During a visit to the Mental Asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug." Do you want a room with or without a view?
Herbert came home to find his wife, Dora, naked in the bedroom, admiring herself in the mirror. "Blimey! There's a sight for sore eyes - what on earth are you doing, woman?" he asked.
Dora looked at herself one more time and said, "The results of my mammogram came back today. I'm all clear, and Dr. Smith says I've got the breasts of a 20 year-old."
"Huh, yeah - and did he say anything about your 57 year-old arse?" sneered Herbert.
Dora looked pensive for a moment. "Well, no, no - in fact, your name never came up at all."
Dora looked at herself one more time and said, "The results of my mammogram came back today. I'm all clear, and Dr. Smith says I've got the breasts of a 20 year-old."
"Huh, yeah - and did he say anything about your 57 year-old arse?" sneered Herbert.
Dora looked pensive for a moment. "Well, no, no - in fact, your name never came up at all."
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
:lol:
Used Car
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies
sitting in a used car.!
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were
they trying to steal it?
"Heavens no, we bought it."
"Then why don't you drive it away."
"We can't drive."
"Then why did you buy it?"
"We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed ...
so we're just waiting."
Used Car
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies
sitting in a used car.!
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were
they trying to steal it?
"Heavens no, we bought it."
"Then why don't you drive it away."
"We can't drive."
"Then why did you buy it?"
"We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed ...
so we're just waiting."
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
:lol: JON
WOMEN'S HUMOR:
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you."
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WOMEN'S HUMOR:
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you."
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Euronymous
Senior Jockey
Not really a joke, and given my religion i shouldn`t have laughed, but on another forum i take part in one member asked:
And quick as a flash a fellow forumite responds:
And quick as a flash a fellow forumite responds:
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
Subject: FW: A test for future brother in laws.....
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend?
She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate.
She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
The moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend?
She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate.
She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
The moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
OLD CHINESE PROVERBS
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
An Australian guy decides to travel around the Greek islands. He walks
into a bar and Jill, the Australian barmaid, takes his order (1 pint of
fosters)and notices his Australian accent. Over the course of the night
they get to know each other quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks her
if she wants to come back to his place and have sex with him.
Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her
$200 for the dirty deed. Jill is travelling the world and because she is short of funds she
agrees.
The next night the guy turns up again and orders another fosters and
after showing her plenty of attention hroughout the night he asks if she will
sleep with him again for $200. She figures in for a penny in for a
pound -and it was fantastic the night before - so she agrees. This goes
on for 5 nights.
On the sixth night the guy comes into the bar. But he just orders his
Fosters and sits in a corner. Jill (a little disappointed)thinks maybe
she should pay him more attention and maybe she can skank some cash out of
him.
So she goes over and sits next to him.
She asks him where he is from and he says Melbourne.
"So am I" she says. "what suburb in Melbourne"
"Glen Iris" he says.
"That's amazing" she says "so am I...what street"
"Cameo St" he says.
"This is unbelievable" she says "what number?"
He says number 20 and she is astonished.
"You're not going to believe this" she says. "I'm from number 22 and my
parents still live there".
"I know" he says, "your father gave me $1000 to give to you".
He who drinks Australian thinks Australian.............
into a bar and Jill, the Australian barmaid, takes his order (1 pint of
fosters)and notices his Australian accent. Over the course of the night
they get to know each other quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks her
if she wants to come back to his place and have sex with him.
Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her
$200 for the dirty deed. Jill is travelling the world and because she is short of funds she
agrees.
The next night the guy turns up again and orders another fosters and
after showing her plenty of attention hroughout the night he asks if she will
sleep with him again for $200. She figures in for a penny in for a
pound -and it was fantastic the night before - so she agrees. This goes
on for 5 nights.
On the sixth night the guy comes into the bar. But he just orders his
Fosters and sits in a corner. Jill (a little disappointed)thinks maybe
she should pay him more attention and maybe she can skank some cash out of
him.
So she goes over and sits next to him.
She asks him where he is from and he says Melbourne.
"So am I" she says. "what suburb in Melbourne"
"Glen Iris" he says.
"That's amazing" she says "so am I...what street"
"Cameo St" he says.
"This is unbelievable" she says "what number?"
He says number 20 and she is astonished.
"You're not going to believe this" she says. "I'm from number 22 and my
parents still live there".
"I know" he says, "your father gave me $1000 to give to you".
He who drinks Australian thinks Australian.............
Merlin the Magician
At the Start
Pharmacist
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.
She then asked if she could help the gentleman. The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism. The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and sever embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it."
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said...............
"We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership of the shop, a company car, and £3,000 a month living expenses."
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.
She then asked if she could help the gentleman. The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism. The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and sever embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it."
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said...............
"We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership of the shop, a company car, and £3,000 a month living expenses."