It is a fu*cking embarrassment being 'British'.
We're the Timmy Mallet of the entire fu*cking continent - a noisy, irrelevant, laughing-stock of a nation.
I pray for the release of Scottish independence (and all the undoubted short-to-medium-term shite that goes with it) as soon as possible, in order that I can legally and spiritually disassociate myself from the burden of being a UK citizen. It will be the first step on our journey to re-join the list of enlightened nations of the EU. I just hope I live long enough to see it happen.
At least I (might) have a lifeboat. My sympathy is with those poor English and Welsh people who want the same outcome, but might never get the opportunity. It is a travesty and a tragedy of geography.
If those people who would prefer not to see the UK broken-up (you know who we're talking about - those half-wits that think they can have it all) want an idea how to retain the UK as an entity, then there is a very simple way to achieve this. (Re)Join the Single Market and the Customs Union. This would leave us outside the EU, but inside the critical institutions that will allow our economy to stay afloat. Granted, it will permit freedom of movement once more, but it's time those fu*ckers were made to choose.
What means more to you? The retention of the UK, or the thing that most makes you wet your bed: EU immigration. Of course, one hopes that Brexiters will have noted - and are presumably happy with the fact - that inward immigration from the Indian sub-continent is now significantly out-pacing EU immigration - just as predicated, the twats.
This has been a Pissed-Off Political Broadcast on behalf of the 'Grass Says All Brexiters Are Stupid Ba*stards' Party.
*Broadcast ends with visuals of Hibs winning the 2016 Scottish Cup, and fans celebrating to the strains of Sunshine on Leith*
Edited to remove some of the swears, which might have been a bit OTT - even for me. I'm not taking them all out, mind.