Arse Cup

I wish Alice Plunkett would stop saying that Big Buck's is the highest rated jumps horse in training...
 
Yeah, you are right about this, however it was nice that she highlighted BB when everyone else was saying there was a big star there, namely Denman. Obviously Denman is, and the crowd were there to see him, but there was a huge lot of people round BB as well, and shouting for him. And also Binocular and Pedlars Cross. There were a lot of stars there Saturday which is why it was such a good card.

Anyway - so one of you write in and tell her, or better yet stop her and tell her. She would probably have a laugh with you, she's okay.
 
Simon said:
I wish Alice Plunkett would stop saying that Big Buck's is the highest rated jumps horse in training...
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It's not just her. Jon Lees in the RP yesterday:

The best horse at Newbury today - according to the handicapper at least - is neither Denman nor Binocular but Big Bucks
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I don't think anyone anywhere would think Binocular is near the top of that particular tree. Shoddy.

-
 
Time: today.

Caller: "Hallo, Virgin. My television's stuck on Channel 5, has been since yesterday. I turned it off and on again. I pulled out the Smart card and put it back in. I tried to get 'Home' and use the 'Fix It Assistant' but the remote won't even let me do that. I've gone onto your website and had a good look through all the options, but I can't see anything to help. Yes, I did try changing channels manually on the side of the tv, and the set-top box. Wouldn't move an inch. I mean, I like some of the Ch.5 shows, but... no, no, none of the wires are loose - I checked those, too. Is AV1 showing? I don't know - hang on, I'll just check that. Yes! AV1 is showing!"

Operator: "That's good. I'll do a check from this end and see if I can get the channel to move. Just a minute... how's that?"

Caller (excitedly): "Yes! It's moved onto the, uh, Jeremy Kyle show... "

Operator: "Can you now change channels with the remote?"

Caller (not so excitedly): "Uhhh, no. I hate the Jeremy Kyle Show, too."

Operator (laughing politely): "Just try one more thing for me. When you press the remote, does a little red light show?"

Caller (confused): "A little red light? Where should it show?"

Operator (patiently): "The little red light will come on when you press the remote."

Caller: "Uhhh... no, no, it doesn't.... oh! OHHHH!"

Operator (very sweetly): "Yes, you've got it. It's your batteries. They've run down. You just need to put in new batteries... "


:o
 
I'm hoping the phase isn't terminal, Grey. Phoned the BBC earlier this week to inquire about a particular programme. Lovely Scottish lady answered, very friendly and helpful: "Now, then, Jon, are you on the Internet?"

Idiot caller: "Uh, no, not at the moment - I've got Bargain Hunt on... "

Will it pass, doctor, or is this it? :blink:
 
So, who received the slightly cracked, gold-effect trophy for 2010? At least there won't be Graham Goode for some to bitch about (quite a nice little ditty he managed to work into his goodbye race at Uttoxeter yesterday, I thought), or Dave Smith.

Surely time for some fresh nominees for 2011?
 
krizon said:
Surely time for some fresh nominees for 2011?
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He who calls himself Thommo still sets the standard.

I was given Matthew Norman's book - You Cannot Be Serious: The 101 Most Infuriating Things In Sport - for Christmas and it contained a story about Thompson that I hadn't heard previously. Channel 4 Racing stalwart John Tyrrel was Norman's father-in-law and died in Newmarket in 1995: "When he died...Tommo raced to the house to offer condolences, and to beg JT's widow to delay the funeral for more than a week, until the first day on which he could be certain to attend. This, at some inconvenience, she duly did. The mystery of Tommo's non-appearance at the church was not resolved until hours after the service, when my brother-in-law and I chose to pay our most private respects by spending an hour in a bookmaker's in Newmarket High Street. Any plans to make a missing person's report and ask the police to put out an All Points Bulletin for a Caucasian male, about forty-five years old, with an infuriating smirk were happily forestalled when a familiar voice drifted out of the speakers. Tommo, having demanded the postponement of the funeral to a time convenient to himself had waged a fierce internal battle and then decided to earn a few bob from commentating on behalf of the bookies' satellite service SIS at an exceedingly minor meeting at Uttoxeter."

What Norman doesn't mention but I definitely recall is that not long previously Tyrrel had taken the trouble to write to the Post in defence of Thompson whose grating manner had attracted a lot of criticism - so, what's new? - and Tyrrel had valiantly fought his corner.

It sums the man up, for me.
 
I think this sits alright here.

I was browsing the British 2yo Racing site (http://www.b2yor.co.uk/2010_Season/10_Horses/Frankel.htm) and came across these pearls of wisdom written in a summary of Frankel's win at Doncaster last year:

Stiff, gusty, headwind on the day.
Impressive effort by Frankel although with not much to beat with DG not able to raise much of an effort in the last 2f and running below form off a comfortable lead. But, running too freely for the first half of the race and fighting the jockey. Partly because the pace set not fast enough for him to move comfortably behind. A good VT to watch to see the different between a low OR80s handicapper (DG) and an OR110+ one. Frankel bigger, broader and more powerful than DG. Added to that he is a very correct and efficient mover. Which meant that despite the pulling he still put in a striking forward effort in the last 2f. Like watching a Formula 1 car eating up a Hot Hatchback.
Trainer Cecil in typically non-commital mode afterwards saying is was some time since he had a horse he felt was this 'Promising'. But then made it clear that there was a long way to go to deliver the promise but the horse might well be something different.
[Cecil also went up B2yoR's estimation by declaring he had complained to the Clerk of the Course about Derek Thompson bawling over the Tannoy for most of the day. As good a judge of a man as a horse apparently. What deadhead believes that having Thompson & Mapletoft shouting at you all day can do anyone any good. Amongst the drivel was a classic snippet from Mapletoft when he was supposed to be doing a Paddock Review. No mention of the horses in front of him but dodgy form review and unproven cliches instead. Told everyone that the topweight in the nursery 'deserved her chance' at this level. She was the only Conditions race winner in the field and is the TOPweight, You pillock. A gem to set alongside pundit Mark Johnson asking whether the second division of a Nursery was the weaker edition because it had all the fillies in it and less males. Either Johnson knows something quite deep about relative handicapping or he is competing in the Pundit Pillock stakes. Not 10/11 each of two there. ]
 
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I'll nominate ATR for there persistance in showing Paul Moloney winning on Tiger O'Toole at 'Leicester' when its clear to all and sundry its Ascot.Muppets!
 
Euronymous said:
I think I'm gonna nominate this place. Where's the traffic? Is everyone down the Supermarket or B&Q?
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My fooking IPhone went on the blink - spent the whole day getting it fixed instead of catching up on office work. If Leopardstown is off tomorrow will work instead. What are the prospects cos going on the batter tonight!!:ninja:
 
Gearoid said:
1/7 No Racing
4/1 Racing
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4/7 Get absolutely destroyed - completely incoherent after 11:30, lose phone, wallet and location of hotel.

6/4 Remain an ability to converse with other humans until after 1am.

1000/1 Meet nyphomaniac supermodel at 9 o'clock, sweep her off her feet with my boyish charm, bring her back to hotel for mind blowing sex and be back out drinking with the lads by 9:12.:)
 
"Peddlers Cross has been a really good servant since they bought him out of the Walter Swinburn yard" - John Francome
 
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